Leaving and RSD

Just experiencing rejection sensitivity dysphoria at it's peak.

A few weeks into planning for divorce, my ADD husband's strange communication patterns are more frightening than ever. At the least hint of criticism, he's furious. 

We both intend to make divorce nice, and fair for each family member. There shouldn't be anything to be afraid of. I've been trying to calm things down.

But I do get upset too. Especially when he's done some research into legal or financial procedures of divorce and I'm still waiting for my first lawyer's appointment. He upsets my stomach by mentioning he's found out something that changes everything. He then talks of this new information in a condescending and inefficient way, for a long time. I listen, but what he says is inconceivable. I try to ask questions but he is unable to answer any of them. I grope around in the dark forest of inconsequence that is my husband's mind, without finding anything useful, only a terrible insecurity. From this I try to protect myself by being dismissive. He perceives this as criticism. The cycle continues.

But I keep a calm voice and try to avoid conflict. I comfort him out of some of the worst fits, but they seem to return next day. Then he is ashamed and apologizes. Then it all starts over.

He pretends to be bright and happy around the children, then cries and acts out when children can still hear him. They are upset and cry. I have to comfort them.

Yesterday I managed to get us both to a good place where we both felt trusting and could express hope for the future. Today that work is in shreds.

I admire all of you who've been through this.