I'm sharing this here not because I expect advice but because I know that many of you will understand my experience.
I've been divorced for more than three years. A significant reason for me to file for divorce was my desire to separate myself as much as possible from my now ex-husband's financial matters. We live in a marital property state, and so our finances were even more tied together than most married couples' finances would be. Well, here it is three years after the divorce, and I'm still under the shadow of my ex's "whatever": I've discovered that he hasn't been filing tax returns and this failure to do so could still affect me for the year of the divorce. I knew for many years (while we were married) about his desire to be a tax cheater so I took the necessary steps to protect myself while we were married. But now that we're divorced, I can't do anything to ensure his compliance with the law. He said more than once that he didn't want to hurt me and that our marriage was the best thing that ever happened to him, and he has been referred to as a "saint" because he takes care of his aging parents, but I continue to feel cruddy because of the financial issues.
Thank you for letting me vent.
Thank you for sharing this. I
Submitted by Ceemo22 (not verified) on
Thank you for sharing this. I've been with my "husband" for 14 years now, although we've never officially tied the knot. I've always just brushed it off to him, telling him that a piece of paper doesn't really matter. If I'm being honest with myself though, I would have loved a well thought out proposal and being able to commit ourselves to each other in some sort of ceremony. I think deep down I've always liked the idea that financially I'm not tied to him in anyway, and can leave if I need to without going bankrupt. He hasn't done taxes in over 5 years, and works odd job after odd job so there's no benefits or retirement there whatsoever. He wants to start a business and is convinced that I think he can't do it and that it's a bad idea. In reality, I don't care if he does it, but I'm not going to be the one starting it for him and putting in all the work while he jumps in during the fun parts. If the rest of our life is any indication, it will just be another thing that I'm in charge of that I really don't want to be. Good for you for getting out, but I am sorry that you still have to deal with the financial mess that he created.