Hi all,
i am simply looking to vent. I have a lot on my mind & sometimes I am overwhelmed merely thinking about it. My husband who has ADHD & I (do not have adhd) have been through hell and back it seems. Things have been better lately,he acknowledges what he does wrong, he's going to individual counseling every 2 weeks. He also accompanies me to marital counseling every week. We seem to be communicating better, once I stopped being so angry & finally let my anger go. I guess I am just afraid of the future. My husband is active duty navy, he's been in going on 8 years, so he has managed to hold down a job. Yes he is impulsive mostly with money, but recently he set up his paychecks to be deposited into my checking account, and he will have an allowance. I was surprised he agreed, but I finally put my foot down & said if he couldn't communicate with me about money, & be responsible with it, this is the best solution. My husband used to have a bad porn problem, probably 8 or so months ago was the last time I've found any. It broke my heart & would cause a lot of fighting, he says he finally understood & I haven't seen any around since. We've also been through the lying, mostly when he wants to avoid conflict or spare my feelings. I left for a month & went home to my parents after I found out he had taken out credit in my name. That thank The Lord hasn't happened again (I have I.D theft protection now & I made him pay off what he had charged last tax return).
Continuing....
Submitted by navywifeobx on
My husband is very good around the house, very clean, if I ask him to clean up or organize etc, he loves it & will happily lend a hand. Now onto my venting, yes he's def lost my trust (we are working on rebuilding currently in counseling). I just am so afraid of the unknown. Especially since my husband is navy, right now he is on shore duty so he is home, no deployments. We've been together roughly 4 years & been through deployments etc in the past. I just worry, since he has re enlisted, what will life be like on his next sea tour? What if he deploys for 10 months etc? He has NEVER cheated & says he never will. But the past pornography usage really ate away at my soul. I'm still struggling with self esteem issues because of it. I'm a very attractive woman, but it hurt me so badly I developed PTSD from it.
Still continuing....
Submitted by navywifeobx on
I guess I need advice. I am reading Melissa's book & instantly I recognized my own marriage. My husband said he wants to read it to. He was diagnosed with adhd as a child and I guess learned to deal with it, until we got married & had a baby is when he started acting out. I love this man dearly & I am willing to work with him. He is a good father, very patient, kind, good with our daughter, would do anything for anyone. Everyone immediately falls in love with him & his personality. I'm just so afraid of the future, I've told him if he ever cheated or any other major betrayals of trust, that would be it I'd walk away. I know he didn't intend to hurt me with any of this past stuff. I'm assuming he doesn't have an extreme case of adhd since he's been able to hold down a job etc.. I'm just so stressed about this upcoming sea tour, since we could be apart for long periods of time etc.