I've been dating my 50 year old, ADD, boyfriend for over a year. At the beginning he completely hyper focused on me with poetry, romantic evenings, compliments, etc. It was heaven.
Well...I know now that he still loves me, even though I don't get the poems anymore or the romantic attention.
But there's one thing I struggle with. He stares at other attractive women when we are out together. He even used to point them out to me, like I would be interested, until I told him to stop. I've tried talking to him, explaining how hurtful it is for me, but he just gets defensive and tells me I'm too insecure.
I do have some insecurities but this is not just about me. I feel it's disrespectful to be looking at other women when he should be focusing on me. I've never dated anyone before, who ogled women like this.
So...is this an ADD thing? Do ADD men find it harder to tear their eyes away from a pretty woman? It's getting to the point that I don't want to go anywhere with him because I know it will happen. I think of myself as a pretty confidant person most of the time, but the ogling, combined with less attention, is starting to make me feel unattractive and boring to him.
zellam,
Submitted by lovehurtsalotwi... on
My ADHD husband stairs down at other women all the time,he would not stop and now he is watching a lot of dirty porn and that disgust me!! He won't stop and I see his lusting desires all the time,I am not sure what it is,I am not an unattractive woman myself, I am very much in shape and fit and even 16 years younger than him,so the question is why? my personal feelings on "MY"husband behavior's is one out of two or maybe many reasons,well for sure he has a high sex drive,and could be ADD related,or feelings of attention wants and needs,or sometimes I go as so far as to think I could be easily replaced any day with that type of lusting!!!!!what if the woman he is lusting on likes it? then "TROUBLE" an affair could take place because,,,,,,, love and sex are two different things, sex is sex,but,love combine with sex is magical! what scares me the most is his ADHD and the hyper focus it has,and what if, which is easily distracted the looking could become more than looking especially if that other person likes it.I am on top of him though and I let him know how it hurts me,he got defensive and told me that he only looks at other women to remind him what he has,"O please"come on that is total shit!!!!he is talking,,,,,, what does he feels I'm stupid or something.Any ways he has stopped just a little,but,still looks sometimes,but to be honest with you if he does not stop,,, I would start looking at other men!!!!Then he would know how that really feels.