Hi, this is my first post so here goes. I've been with my boyfriend for a year and he has ADD. He's really insecure and has a few anger issues but they're pretty rare and only once has it been directed at me. But last night we went out with friends, got really drunk and jumped on the bus back to his house. As usual I fell asleep on the bus but this time when I woke up I was alone and about 45-50 minutes out of town. I called him like why am I alone in a strange town, where are you and he screams at me that he's at home, he's not responsible for me, its my fault and so on and on. Today he says he can't remember anything and that the only thing he can think is that he fell asleep too, woke up and just forgot we had been together. What I can't figure out is if this is probable? Could he just forget about me and the shouting was a defense mechanism cos he knew he messed up or did he mean to leave me on that bus?
malice or distraction?
Submitted by yellow99 on 08/16/2015.
This may be a case of....
Submitted by overwhelmedwife on
....you're both wrong and you're both right.
<< But last night we went out with friends, got really drunk and jumped on the bus back to his house. As usual I fell asleep on the bus but this time when I woke up I was alone and about 45-50 minutes out of town. I called him like why am I alone in a strange town,>>>
It can be argued either way. You're responsible for yourself. But, you're in a relationship and that usually means that each wants to take care of the other.
You chose to get drunk which makes a person vulnerable. Your BF got drunk, and it sounds like he (and maybe you) blacked out.
While intoxicated, neither of you were in control of yourselves. Late at night, on a bus....does that sound like a wise choice? He is guilty of not taking care of you. You are guilty of not taking care of you.
He is guilty of being so intoxicated that when you go to your bus-stop, he didn't have the presence of mind to wake you up. He forgot that you were there. You were guilty of being so tired and intoxicated that you didn't have the presence of mind to know when your stop was. You were depending on another intoxicated person to wake you up in the event that you didn't wake up on time.
What are your thoughts?
You're both wrong and both right.
Submitted by overwhelmedwife on
double post
I vote
Submitted by ChrisChris on
I am of the opinion that his shouting was a defense mechanism.
Sure it was...
Submitted by overwhelmedwife on
His girlfriend calls and he realizes that he left her on a bus and now she's in the wrong town. He doesn't want to believe that it happened because he was an irresponsible man, so he has to blame her.
But, the truth is, they're both guilty.