If you are a people pleaser and have a spirit to serve others unless you are also very wise, you may be an easy target for a person who seeks Co-dependency and is skilled at manipulation and Control...I'm not saying all who live in this mind do it intentionally or are even totally aware of their intrusive life style...But, the reality and effect on others is the same non the less...

This was the case in my marriage; and I wasn't wise enough to understand what was happening until I was so taken advantage of that my emotional health was not good... Learning to recognize the faces of manipulation by someone seeking to control you can be super hard for a servant spirited (people pleaser) person. If you have a spouse who lives w/ out much self control you may already understand this post and the effects it can have on you....It's a form of abuse for sure, and until a person learns to recognize it and walk away from it only bad things happen....I'm not bitter or angry any more, but, that is only because God took it from me...I am human and the road to anger and bitterness is still an option. But I was so emotionally damaged by anger and bitterness I would live alone before I turned down that road again...No contest...

Side note: If you are suffering from bitterness because you are living with a co-dependent spouse I will share my experience with you....I struggled and prayed for quiet a while to be free of this root of bitterness that had intertwined it-self into my heart...but to no avail....And one night laying in the emergency room w/ my heart jumping around over come with anxiety. I realized or either God reveled to me....I didn't really want deliverance from it..."It was my protection"....It wasn't long after that, God freed me from this terrible thing....Giving one's life is freedom.... I still love to serve, and I do most all the chores, but, I don't do it w/ a chip anymore and I try to not keep count or save stamps :)...

The road I'm on now is a much healthier road....Step 1) accept my spouse (this doesn't mean agreement) 2) manage my emotions in every circumstance. 3) Never be to Prideful to apologize and ask for forgiveness when I do something wrong, no matter what her role was, and no matter if she apologizes or not. (People in denial usually don't ) 3) Recognize the faces of manipulation, and always walk away silently no matter what is being said or done....Words can only lead to conflict for both parties and if I don't engage it at all, it's just an internal conflict for her to work through.... Below is the web address to a nice article I found that gives some in-site into a person who lives in this kind of mind, for those who would like to read it.....

C

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/intimacy-and-desire/201105/people-w...