My husband has recently been diagnosed with ADHD. His doctor has started him on ritalin. It has seems to help with his focus... but that was never really our biggest concern with this disability. Its his emotions or lack of control over them that really hurts our family. I know he has DESR (deficient emotional self-regulation) which from what I've read approx 50% of adults with ADHD suffer from. He gets so upset about trivial things... fits of rage... teeth clenched.. has to punch something (wall / door etc). Then when we need to deal with something more serious, he is so emotional its like living with a teenager girl on PMS! It drives both of us crazy.
I'm wondering if any of the ADHD adults out there also struggle with this part of ADHD and what medications have helped?
My ADD (newly diagnosed) dh
Submitted by copingSAH on
My ADD (newly diagnosed) dh has just started on Adderall. I think the Adderall makes him a pussy cat, and very civilized towards me and our children.
While he seems to do alright at work with the occasional onslaught of racing thoughts, the doctor has him on Adderall mainly for work (take twice in 8hrs, or a typical work day). My concern is for the other hours outside of work, namely with the family on weekends. The family dynamics have been particularly difficult to navigate. He is at turns fine, funny, energetic yet at the same time aggressive, goading, pompous, argumentative when he's not on any medication and it's just his "usual" ADHD self. People/acquaintances find him terribly charismatic and amusing but it's really a whole different ballgame when as a family we're subjected to the teasing and ridicule by him even if it is in play. It has a tinge of cruelty to it and we're just run down by it.
I only caught glimpses of what it was like for him on Adderall after work yesterday. He was positively pleasant to speak to on the phone (with no irritation, barking at me as if I was a nitwit, real civility) and I was nearly in tears hearing the husband I thought I married and lost somewhere along the way. I don't know if my dh has DESR but I know he has anger that seems disproportionate, even if it is partially his fault, or no one's fault at all. He also had for a period of time, these crazy rage attacks that came out of nowhere. I'd be sitting at the computer or cooking, then he'd come flying in accusing me of not being by the phone and raging at me because he couldn't find one thing or another while he was out. Seriously, what help would I have been, if he cannot find something out there with me being inside the house?
I've only been catching him on the tail end of his dosage, and it's almost like abrupt change when it runs out, right away he was barking at the younger child (getting impatient), rolling his eyes at me over a suggestion I made (irritation), and spent the rest of the evening on his iPad. Then this morning, he insisted he wasn't going to take the Adderall until he got to work. So again, we were the recipients of a bit of micromanaging, scolding, condescending and argumentative over silly things like a dead cell phone and a leftover bagel on the counter.
I think having seen the civility and tenderness, seeing the ADHD back in full is really a bit heartbreaking given the Adderall is reserved for work hours. But I will hold whatever good it does however fleeting close to me, that's like the morsel that will keep me hoping he will do well on Adderall.
Would like to know if Adderall builds up over time so that he is even keeled, not only for a few hours at a time... he plans on taking it only when he needs to, according to him.
ADHD-DESR
Submitted by MyD0j0 on
I am this very Monday morning going to be discussing this very issue with my coach/counselor. I take Aderal 30mg extended release and have the 10mg tablet for "as needed" backup. I was diagnosed almost exactly a year ago. The Aderal is great...when there are no other emotional issues with which to contend. Otherwise, I would prefer being as distracted as possible. Being on the meds seems to me to allow me to focus on being mean and hateful, without being able to regulate it. But then again, maybe the circumstances are different.
Before being diagnosed and after 2 years of marriage, my wife left home because she was having some serious mental health problems that we have come to find through our ADHD specializing marriage counselor, were caused by my distractions. She was not considering coming home at all. After several months she did decide to come home. And a month later, she informed me that she had had a 9 month affair that had ended when she decided to come back home. So...is it DESR? Or just plain out right hurt from the ultimate betrayal? I have said some of the most vile things to my wife, who I love very much. I say them without realizing that I am saying them. Sometimes, I just plain can't stop myself knowing full well what the after affect is going to be. The sad fact is that after 9 months of doing very well at recovering our marriage, that has caused enough consistent hurt that she has now called it quits. She has moved in with her brother and sister-in-law and has been moving her things out. All the while during the past year since she moved out originally and particularly this past 9 months, I have been an emotional water faucet.
At first diagnosis, I was on Vyvanse and we thought that the issue was "Vyvanse crash", where the sudden depletion of dopamine causes a severe crash. Hard to say anymore what the culprit is. An abnormal brain? Constant emotional turmoil (enough even for non-ADDers to have problems)? Medication? All the above? All I know is that when I was diagnosed, I was confident there was a path and a way. Later, that path became mostly uphill. A steep uphill. Now it seems all but hopeless. Whether medication or learning a new skill, I definitely hope there is a solution out there.
Ritalin
Submitted by MyD0j0 on
The very next sight I was reading had this to offer:
The Limbic System and Basal Ganglia
This section of material revolves around the internal make-up of the brain. Many structures deep within the central regions of the brain may be responsible for symptoms related to ADD/ADHD. The central communication areas of the brain have been identified as areas that could be the most promising for finding the roots of ADD/ADHD. Two of the most important areas are the basal ganglia and the limbic system, each for different reasons. Basically the basal ganglia are where large portions of chemicals are produced that maintain normal attention and bodily control, and if they are smaller (as they have been shown in cases of ADD/ADHD) these chemical imbalances the lead to the problems associated with ADD/ADHD. The Limbic system is the system that involves emotions, and how emotions reward or reinforce behaviors. This system is a series of connected neurons that control pleasure, and can control a person's feelings of well being and negative emotions such as anxiety or craving substances to fix the associated problems. Because of these functions, and how they are malfunctioning in ADD/ADHD, this interconnection system is one of the main factors in ADD/ADHD. Ritalin has its effects in these areas due to its chemical properties that stimulate the chemicals that are present in these sub-regions of the brain. The basal ganglia have many nerve tracks that go through the limbic system on their way to the frontal lobes. When the chemicals are imbalanced in these areas, the connections are not as fluid as a normal brain, and the connections that are misfiring have been shown to exist in these specific areas. These chemicals are what researchers now think are the main source of information on how ADD/ADHD actually works. These chemicals are called neurotransmitters. They will be discussed in the section labeled neurons, and neuron connections.
The Subcortical Areas involved in ADD/ADHD