Submitted by Ctyrdk on 05/31/2017.
My husband is ADHD and I'm not; we've been married for 17 years and have 2 children. He told me last night that he wants to leave the marriage. I'm devastated and am shaking.
During the summers he does a lot of boating with his boating friends. They're a community who likes to tie their cruiser boats together and camp all weekend. It seems to provide the perfect sensory overload that makes him feel at peace: lots of people around, music from each boat, drinking, partying. He said he wants to find someone who is more like him, who likes to party like that.
I am so sad to lose him and am so sad for our children. I told him that I love him. This is hell like I've never felt.
Sorry for your situation
Submitted by adhd32 on
No advice, just hoping you get some peace.
Hi Ctyrdk
Submitted by c ur self on
I'm sorry you have been placed in this difficult situation...Based on your post it sounds like your husband was out the door already to some degree...Choosing to spend his summers drinking and parting w/ friends, instead of spending quality time w/ you and the children....
Hopefully you will find peace for yourself and the children...Your strength and love will go a long way in maintaining stability in your children's lives...My Dad left us (three boys) when I was 5, and my Mom was a warrior..She worked very hard to see to our needs...We didn't have a lot of material things, but, we felt rich, because we had Love and Friendships...
My Dad's 85 now and he is a lonely old man w/ many regrets....Some how the choices we make, like the one your Husband is making, seems to always come back around to visit us....I will pray for you!
Blessings
C
I feel your pain
Submitted by Lonely7 on
I'm so sorry this is happening to you. In February my husband of 10 years (been together 17 years total) told me he wasn't happy and wanted out of the marriage also. A month later I found out he had been having an affair since Feb. It's been a hellish roller coaster ever since. In late April he decided to cut off the affair and try to work on our relationship. Whether the affair has truly ended, I don't know. He has had a problem missing the feeling and the high he felt with his affair partner and has felt the need to tell me he still has strong feelings for her. While researching I came across this website and man has it been an eye opener. It perfectly explained what I had been living with for the past 17 years. We knew he had ADHD (unmedicated), but had no clue how badly it had affected him and consequently our marriage. My therapist advises that I walk away as there will always be soo much work from my end to sustain the relationship. But I can't. I love him, even on his bad days. And I can't bear the thought of my children's pain if I were to push him away now. If he walks away, that's his burden to bear. I feel your pain!