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This scenario is not uncommon, but why does he think you're the one with the problem? Is it because he doesn't want to admit that he has a problem that needs attention and is just fine the way he is? I think many of us who track the comments in the forum have a good idea of what your answer will be, but I thought I'd ask anyway.
But, your problems are yours...And his problems are his ....I have found out living with my add spouse, that I can (and have a propensity to do it, in the name of unity) increase my problems 10 fold by my reactions to her problems...All problems are internal to an individual....Our thinking, our feelings and our behaviors that surface based on this thinking and these feelings...
The problems of another only becomes my own when I allow it...Helping others with their problems is an admirable thing in certain circumstances...(Where they can confess the problem, and have a heart and spirit that desires the help, and most healthy minded people will also display thankfulness for your efforts)...But any attempt to help, fix or point out another"s problem, (when they are in denial of the problem, are refuses to see it as a problem) will only increase your problems in a big big way...And that is always self selected....
Most wise people recognize individuals that have many problems, but have no ability to recognize those problems....The wise man or women will know in these cases to never make these problems their own, by making an effort to engage in these closed minds of denial.....
I hope you can back off of your efforts that are not appreciated....Do you know what giving unwanted help (your own perceived needs of another) makes you??
We seem to be on a similar stage of acceptance. Thanks for being a calming, mature contributor. I know you are trying to find workable paths to journey through with grace and faith with all of us. Just, thanks for sharing your strength.
I have a fleshly reality. (the finite)....And I have a spiritual reality, (the eternal)....I'm just seeking to give the reins of the one that causes me so much trouble, to the one who spoke them both into existence....
Journey of Faith by Grace...Yes dear Jenna, you are so wise, that is the path.
This scenario is not uncommon
Submitted by vabeachgal on
This scenario is not uncommon, but why does he think you're the one with the problem? Is it because he doesn't want to admit that he has a problem that needs attention and is just fine the way he is? I think many of us who track the comments in the forum have a good idea of what your answer will be, but I thought I'd ask anyway.
Problems are just part of being human...
Submitted by c ur self on
But, your problems are yours...And his problems are his ....I have found out living with my add spouse, that I can (and have a propensity to do it, in the name of unity) increase my problems 10 fold by my reactions to her problems...All problems are internal to an individual....Our thinking, our feelings and our behaviors that surface based on this thinking and these feelings...
The problems of another only becomes my own when I allow it...Helping others with their problems is an admirable thing in certain circumstances...(Where they can confess the problem, and have a heart and spirit that desires the help, and most healthy minded people will also display thankfulness for your efforts)...But any attempt to help, fix or point out another"s problem, (when they are in denial of the problem, are refuses to see it as a problem) will only increase your problems in a big big way...And that is always self selected....
Most wise people recognize individuals that have many problems, but have no ability to recognize those problems....The wise man or women will know in these cases to never make these problems their own, by making an effort to engage in these closed minds of denial.....
I hope you can back off of your efforts that are not appreciated....Do you know what giving unwanted help (your own perceived needs of another) makes you??
C
Thanks, C
Submitted by jennalemone on
We seem to be on a similar stage of acceptance. Thanks for being a calming, mature contributor. I know you are trying to find workable paths to journey through with grace and faith with all of us. Just, thanks for sharing your strength.
Thank you; kind lady.....
Submitted by c ur self on
I have a fleshly reality. (the finite)....And I have a spiritual reality, (the eternal)....I'm just seeking to give the reins of the one that causes me so much trouble, to the one who spoke them both into existence....
Journey of Faith by Grace...Yes dear Jenna, you are so wise, that is the path.
C