I got married about a year ago and was not prepared for the fact that my husband has pretty severe ADHD. I was the one who figured out there was something wrong that he needed to go see specialists. And my suspicion was correct - that he has Tourette's and ADHD. It's been a rollercoaster and a heartbreaking process dealing with it. Had to convince him to go to doctors and finally he was open to it. We got from a neuropsychologist who tested him, to a neurologist, to his primary care doc (who prescribed way too low for some reason) and finally to a psychiatrist. He was taking 25 mg of Straterra for 3 wks but when the psychiatrist advised taking 60mg, he stopped taking meds completely - for a week now. And is hiding it from me. I feel like he is so unstructured, aimless and a mess. Our communication is so broken. I feel so hopeless and depressed. Is there hope in a situation where they stop complying? Is that a normal pattern in their acceptance?
New to this - New Marriage on Brink of Collapse due to ADHD symptoms
Submitted by violetlana on 07/26/2016.
Violetlana, welcome to the forum
Submitted by dedelight4 on
Hi, violet. I'm so sorry about your husband's diagnosis, and I KNOW it's very hard to handle on a daily basis. Your husband has even more than many of us here. But, as you learn, you'll find out that there is often co-morbid conditions that go along with ADHD.
In answer to your question about ADHD'ers going off their meds.......YES, it is a common thing for them to do. It's the worst thing they can do, since the meds can work SO well. But, often in their minds, they have grown to be an adult and often think, "I'm okay, I've gotten along this far without them". It's called DENIAL, which is something you also ned to know about.
Many can stay in denial all their lives because the fear of having to face what's wrong with them is too great. (like my husband) My husband has a very high IQ, so he doesnt think his adhd can be all that bad, when the condiion has NOTHING to DO with IQ.
The damage caused from these types of illnesses terribly affect the families around these folks, and knowledge, counseling, medications and behavioral changes are vital. We spouses have to learn HOW to deal with them and not react to the things they are doing subconsciously. It can seem like an insurmountable job, but it can be successful. Sad to say, mine hasnt been, because my husband stays in denial of it.
But, its also what each person is willing to live with, and be content with. This forum is terrific, with LOADS of information like books, conferences, websites, etc. Utilize everything you can and learn as mudh as you can.
I pray you both find this something that can bring you closer, if thats what you both want. I do know its hard, and you can feel alone and unsupported at times.
Post here anytime, we're all listening. And the moderators here are professionals. Dr. Hollowell and Melissa Orlov Hugs to you.
Dede