I'm so relieved to find this forum - I mean, I knew it wasn't just me, but my sisters are tired of hearing me complain! Husband diagnosed with ADD (originally by me!) at least 10 years ago and taking Adderall. He says it helps, but I'm not sure. Two nights ago, he got into bed and realized that he didn't have his phone (yes-I bought him the Tile app so he can find keys and wallet, but his hearing isn't great and he can't always hear the tone). So I kept calling his phone so he could find it, and he went downstairs to retrieve it. I heard him call "got it"! and expected him to come right back up, but several minutes went by, and suddenly I heard an enormous crash and the sound of glass breaking. While retrieving his phone from the sofa cushions, he suddenly realized that he had to fix the legs on the sofa (it's like the children's book "If You Give a Mouse a Cookie"). So he started trying to turn the sofa over by himself to work on the legs (did I mention that he's 77? and legally blind in one eye?). And of course he knocked over a very valuable glass side table from Prague and smashed it to bits. Then yesterday I was trying to wrap up our taxes - I'd been asking him for weeks to get me certain information and I realized - as usual - that I was going to have to hold his hand to get it. One of his fleeting passions for a few months was cryptocurrency but he's lost interest and - as usual - couldn't remember how to access any of his accounts. I was constantly running up and down two flights of stairs from my office to his to try to get what I needed and was practically in tears at one point. So while I've been dealing with the ADD for years now, I'm starting to suspect that he may also have some beginning dementia or mild cognitive impairment (appointment for testing next month). It is so difficult to be patient, and I'm also dealing with my parents, who are in their 90s, so I'm really experiencing caregiver burnout. Oh, I forgot to mention that at 77, he insists on working full time - he starts work at 6 am so he's exhausted all the time. I've told him that work gets 110% of him and there's nothing left for me. Sometimes it feels like there's nothing left of the marriage but caregiving: no intimacy or companionship. Nothing to "refill my tank" so I can have the patience to deal with all this. Apologies for the long post - thanks for "listening."
Also new here. So sorry you
Submitted by finite on
Also new here. So sorry you're going through all of that. That does sound exhausting.