A friend of mine just said an interesting thing.  That if a girl was raised in a family with honesty, forthrightness, good work ethic, etc....she has a bigger chance of marrying someone who does NOT have those characteristics because she assumes (naively) that people's intentions are good and that they are being honest and she does not look for lies, manipulations or laziness because she is not conditioned to believe those things naturally exist in some people.  She said the people she knows who have had a difficult parent, are the ones who end up marrying someone who is honest, hardworking and sincere because they are careful and know what to look for to not get entangled with.  I am realizing that this is what I did...in that I was naively believing the best of everyone and not critical or suspicious but I gave the benefit of the doubt over and over and forgave and believed things would work out eventually.  I thought I could support someone enough to give them the benefit of a stable mate and they would be better than when I married them. I am not sure what the moral of this story is....its just an observation.  I am no longer naive.  I would choose more carefully and critically next time...but there won't be a next time for me.  'just sayin'.