Greetings all; I have lurked on this forum for quite a while reading other members posts/responses and infomation. What speared me into making an account and posting was just another run of the mill 'common' issue most everyone here faces. I come home from work and find the door to the house open and all the trash piled up next to the door (but ripped open and thrown all over the house because of the dog) because she did not remember to take it out, yet had to step over it to leave I guess... Instead of just complaining, I want to write, I guess a letter or something to express what im currently/have been feeling/facing. ----- To my fiance; I try to be supportive, I really do. But, after so much of the same issues re-appearing and re-appearing I just get tired. I get tired of saying the same things, tired of dealing with the same issues, tired of explaining the same things; most of all I get tired of hearing things, but seeing no attempt to correct the issues or even address them. I am so, so tired. I am tired of being the only one who works in our household, yet one of the conditions of us moving in (and me moving to another state for you) would be at least an attempt to make income to help US yet you are not, have not even looked for 7 months, yet you complain because we dont have nice things. I am tired of having to always lower my expectations of you. I am tired of having to even give you expectations. We should be a team, yet Ive come to treat you more like a child. I am tired of having no sex drive. I am tired of reducing my hope on a day to day bases to: "Just please dont make anything worse" I am tired of having to keep 100 percent control of the fiances, as the one month you did we ended up with 800 dollars worth of house plants. I am tired of having to maintain an entire household by my self and worst of all, not be able to communicate about the issues I am facing because you truelly cant relate. I am tired of saying all the above before yet you not taking even the slightest attempt to correct the behavior. (Even booked a tele appointment with your doctor and myself and you to go over medication management and techniques, but you forgot to turn your phone on and then took a two hour shower.) Im tired of the fact you can dedicate yourself for 5 hours non-stop to a random task like drawing but cant seem to be able to complete simple daily tasks. I am tired of feeling this way. I am tired of having to justify the good things vs the bad things in our relationship. And I am tired of not feeling the same way about you as I used to, even though I try.
bdrew6...welcome
Submitted by Zapp10 on
You said it so very well...especially as it appears your fiance is not addressing the ADD? This causes SO much more heartache.....
Being able to speak of our experience where it is UNDERSTOOD is a reprieve from a daily life that can....many times.....suck us(non adders) dry. And because most of us do NOT talk to anyone about this....we go it alone......just like we are doing in our relationship.
Please know you are welcome!!! and we do hear and understand.
Thank you for the reply.
Submitted by bdrew6 on
Thank you for the reply.
<BK>
I think she is more of the ADHD side, but she shows both sides of the coin at times.
<BK>
Im sorry for venting, it just at times get so frustrating. We all have issues we face in life, I do; everyone does. For me, you know, I work 10 hours deal with a bunch of drama at work, and still have about 3 hours of work I have to do at home... yet now can't do it because I'm literally cleaning up a mess. Yet the response I get is "o I'm sorry."
<BK>
Sorry does not pay the bills. I don't want the relationship to fail, but damn she's doing a good job trying.