So I have been with my partner for 7 years. He is 40 and was diagnosed this year with ADHD. He goes through spates of surviving and struggling. He has a cocaine addict which is re inforced with heavy drinking. The physcologist has told him he needs to drink and he was determined to do so. However in the past month knowing this information his addiction have become worse. He are constantly arguing about it. His daughter also for kicked out of her mother's house and has been staying and is causing issues. This has lead to him walking out on me and getting his own place with her. I know he loves me as the day before we were making plans for our future, which is what we do on a regular basis. I am at a loss and severley concerned for his wellbeing. I don't know what to do for the best. He always calls our house his safe place but he's just walked away.
Partner with ADHD has left
Submitted by Aswat on 09/06/2021.
Hi Aswat....
Submitted by c ur self on
I'm sorry you have found yourself in this situation, it sounds like his adhd, drug, alcohol, addictions along w/a problem child has become his life (consumed him)....These things will always consume any of us....So the planning you were doing with him isn't anything that can happen, not until he free's himself from his own self abuse....That is the way it would be for me, or anyone...
We have to live soberly and responsibly in order to be trusted, and to make plans come to life.....There will always be an excuse when we live destructive lives....I suggest you attempt to be the fly on the wall and see the reality of it all...You may find life a lot more peaceful since he has moved out, please take care yourself above all...
c
Many thanks for the reply. I
Submitted by Aswat on
Many thanks for the reply. I agree he has to live the sober life, which is what we were planning. He's a fantastic bloke and as you mentioned get consumed with things. Is there anyway to help break a cycle? Even if we still live apart he still needs to address the addiction?
Breaking destructive habits....
Submitted by c ur self on
You and I both know that only the individual who is struggling with addiction, or any other life sucking habit, can break it.....He must care enough to seek help for himself....As long as any of us refuse to pursue help, and stop justifying our weaknesses, (victim minds) we will always be stuck....His life will destroy yours, if you refuse to accept this...You can calmly speak truth to him, and you can pray for him...But, he must care to manage his own life, no one can do that for him.....
Blessings
c