Submitted by Libby on 10/20/2018.
The thread on demanding sex got me thinking. My DH is very demanding with sex but he is also very focused on his other physical needs(wants). He has a huge appetite can eat anytime anywhere. Literally eats us out of house and home. Also demanding and thoughtless about what he wants in that area.
He seems to require little sleep at night but can fall asleep anytime anywhere.
Too much info but he is obsessed with his bowel movements. Has a total freak out if he is constipated. Blames me for it if you can believe it. What is with this?!?
His physical comfort is his top priority. He must be very sensitive to how he is feeling physically.
I wish I could be as self focused as he is.....
natural needs
Submitted by husband33 on
what if a man's regular "needs" are as natural as woman's menstruation?
can men/woman overrule their bodies?
mutual respect for what can't be helped.
I agree with the respect for
Submitted by Libby on
I agree with the respect for what can not be helped and I have bent over backwards to accommodate his quirks. The key here is the word mutual. The world however does not revolve around him and his wishes. In many ways I have created a monster by submitting to his demands. The demands for a rigid menu for suppers. Just because he wants potatoes every night doesn't mean the rest if the family does. Just because he wants to get up at 5 every morning and be in bed by 9 doesn't mean the rest of the family does. So extremely self focused especially with his physical stuff. It's like he cannot separate himself from anyone else. He sees what he wants and that should be what the rest of us want too. Hell to pay if we disagree. That doesn't seem to mutual to me.
Of course we cannot over rule
Submitted by Libby on
Of course we cannot over rule our bodies but we can control our reactions to what life throws us. No need to take frustrations out on those who live with you.
An individual's "needs" might
Submitted by PoisonIvy on
An individual's "needs" might be natural; that does not make them the equivalent of a biological process such as menstruation. Now if you mean that a woman's desire to not have sex while menstruating is equivalent to a man's desire to have sex whenever he wants, I agree, those are both natural.
what is "natural"?
Submitted by husband33 on
yes, if i understand, i believe period days/week is maybe biologically equivalent to a man's "needs"; it is as powerful and unavoidable as menstruation. it is a bodily function in category of a period or a #2...every human in the world regardless of cultural has these same physical needs: menstruation and man's need to "clean the pipes"...it is not misogyny, it is natural...right(?)
a denied bodily function builds up with unhealthy side effects.
I don't agree that having sex
Submitted by PoisonIvy on
I don't agree that having sex with another person is an unavoidable bodily function. The urges presumably can be met with masturbation. I don't think any person's desire to have sex outweighs any other person's desire not to, whether the individuals are of different sexes or the same sex.
agreed
Submitted by husband33 on
just saying menstruation and man's need to release are strong natural unavoidable forces.
and if a man needs to meet his natural needs with mostly masturbation, maybe you are not in a "natural" relationship.
forget politics, i am talking about gentle, respectful, helping each other who are different, physically, emotionally, and need to be respected both ways. i am talking about making each other feel good and respected and satisfied even if we are jot exactly the same.
it is basic human respect.? i disagree with some of the gender stiff going around these days, of coyrse we are all different and should all be respected and admired, everybody deserves to be loved for how they were born.
I still think that sex should
Submitted by AdeleS6845 on
I still think that sex should be a mutual thing between two people who are committed to each other.
Treating me as if I'm just a receptacle that he can use so he can " get his release" is ridiculous. I'm not a prostitute.
I rarely got what I wanted in my marriage sexually either. I wasn't treated like a human being most of the time. In fact the only reason why my ex paid attention to me or showed me any affection at all was when he wanted sex .
I wasn't the one pouting and sulking like a spoiled child when I didn't get my way.
PoisonIvy...You example is an opinion...
Submitted by c ur self on
Just reading this thread...You are sharing opinions...Opinions based on human thinking will always come up short of reaching unity, between two or more...Human's most always lean to their own selfish view points....
There is no goal to reach with opinions...There is no absolutes....So our attempts to reach agreement, becomes very limited... Because our human opinions will always be skewed by our weakness, our desires, our pasts. (baggage).....
When we make our own right and wrongs in our lives, and marriage relationships, based on the above list, we shouldn't expect much unity and agreement....
c
I understand that many men
Submitted by PoisonIvy on
I understand that many men think their desire for sexual intercourse overrides women's desire and right to not consent. Less common the other way, but that also happens. These are both statements of fact. It is my opinion (generally supported by the law) that person A's desire to have sexual intercourse does not have priority over person B's desire not to.
I understand your opinion PI; and I respect it as yours....
Submitted by c ur self on
I try to limit living by skewed human opinions....What I think, and what my wife thinks about intercourse and physical needs in marriage has very little bearing on me...Because I know selfishness will always drive it, If we are basing it on carnal thinking or fleshly weakness.....I personally base it on Holy Scripture....I know the creator who designed me and my wife, (and loves us) know's what his idea for two being one was....Since time began....So the following verse's is where I look to, and pray for God to mold me and my wife by....
7 Now for the matters you wrote about: “It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman.” 2 But since sexual immorality is occurring, each man should have sexual relations with his own wife, and each woman with her own husband. 3 The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. 4 The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife. 5 Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.
These truths matter to true believers...Non-believers probably had rather stick to their own thinking....
c