My husband it certainly depressed. I was the first one to see that and force him to get treatment. Then his therapist and I agreed that he has pretty severe ADHD and he got treatment for that. Then he was able to work and we had 3 years where he had a stable job and insurance.

He lost that job in May and has not tried to work since (i.e. not applied for jobs). He sits around all day watching tv. I work from home, so I am acutely aware he is making no contributions to the running of our household. I have to beg for hours for him to do even a minor task like washing the dishes.

He sees a physician assistant from a non-profit as we have no insurance and I can't afford to pay privately. At her invitation, I went to his appointment with her today. She basically said all the ADD behaviors that make me nuts, losing things, etc, as well as the total disregard for my needs, are caused by depression and not ADD. I asked her again to prescribe for his ADD and she said "anybody feels better when they are hopped up on amphetamines."

I have a nibble on a job 90 miles away. I told him if he does not treat his ADD, I will take this job and leave him to figure it out for himself. I can't find any other non-profits where he might see an actual physician and I am so lost. I just can't afford to pay for a $200 doctor's appointment every month. 

Does anyone have any idea how to get him the help he needs, and I need to be able to continue to live with him?