The Pygmalion effect, or Rosenthal effect, is the phenomenon whereby higher expectations lead to an increase in performance.   A corollary of the Pygmalion effect is the golem effect, in which low expectations lead to a decrease in performance;

  [1] both effects are forms of self-fulfilling prophecy.   By the Pygmalion effect, people internalize their positive labels, and those with positive labels succeed accordingly. The idea behind the Pygmalion effect is that increasing the leader's expectation of the follower's performance will result in better follower performance. Within sociology, the effect is often cited with regard to education and social class.

The golem effect is a psychological phenomenon in which lower expectations placed upon individuals either by supervisors or the individual themselves lead to poorer performance by the individual. This effect is mostly seen and studied in educational and organizational environments. It is a form of self-fulfilling prophecy.

I want to step out of my usual information dump for a moment and present these two phenonmenons to anyone who is with a spouse who has ADHD and actually point a finger at you here.  I want to challenge you to see something that is the sourse of your problems you are having with your ADHD spouse by saying....."if you are not part of the solution.....then your only being part of the problem."

  I am so sure of this at this point...I'm going to accuse you of being your own worse enenmy with your ADHD spouse by applying this to you.  I have tried to describe this invisible adversary for most of my life (the resulting Amibvilence of the effect it has on you) by using a million words to do so.  When I stumble across and article I was reading about something completely unrelated to ADHD or even myself but was about these two phenomenons it was like putting a name and face to something that I have know for my entire life.  This is the enemy that I have been fighting against.  This is the adversary and the unspoken invisible force that I have spent an entire life time in learning how to overcome and defeat within myself.

I am so sure of this (the Ambivilence that is) without hesitation or to even questioning it now......I'm going to leave this right here.

Only to say.....I know this one like the back of my hand.  That's how sure I am and need no one to ask or confirm how strongly I feel that I am correct in saying it without having to prove it to anyone.  If you are with someone with ADHD and trying to get them to improve their performance in all areas of concern but especially with house chores and responsibilies across the board that they appear to struggle with......this is really what (not who) you are dealing with on your side of the equation and how you are contributing to the probelm itself. 

Read it an weap as they say.  My point is to get your attention here and pause to consider this for your own sake as well as for the sake of your partner because if you decide to discount this effect as not applying or you don't understand it ( your part of it,  how you can change it and the power you have within this to do something about it and why?) ....

You will be missing a huge opporunity to make a positive impact on your relationship as whole.  I truly believe that you need to rethink how you approach your spouse and loved ones who have ADHD to understand them better. I think can also help to explain why they behave the way they do in countless ways due to this very thing.  It cover's a lot of ground is what I'm trying to say and the pay off will be huge if you learn how to exploite this in a postive and loving way.   It exist within your spouse or ADHD partner whether you (or they) realize it or not.  I am so sure of this....I challange anyone to simply apply this to yourself from the leadership position within this effect and see if it doesn't hold true for you.  You have nothing to lose here but to just give it a try and see what happens as your observe the results.  I can almost guarentee you will see positive results from this if you can use this to your advantage.

The adversary is the feelings of "Ambilivlence" that is causing the problems which is the original source of these two effects in relationship to a person who has ADHD....the solution or remedy is also  within these two effect with the caveat being....it is up to the person who has it to change their realtionship with it.  This will only be the means in helping them do this by augmenting the process.  This may be the reason to blame initially....but not the actual reason for it perpetuating itself.  It is the cycle of negativity that this causes that will either be relieved or exsasurbated by it depending on what you do ether way.  The goal for you is to help break this cycle first before you can move on to finding more remedies and solutions.   You can really help or you can make the process even more difficult for this person by choosing either one yourself is all that I am saying.  I think this would apply especially if you are dealing with someone who is struggling to get past any denial they are having and are not a place where they can do this for themselves.

If you are intersted in learning more.....just google it.....there's mountains of research and case studies to explain it better to you better than I ever could.  While you're at it....look up the word "Ambililence" to help you better understand that this is the pathway to getting to the source of the problem.......the feeling itself.

edited post script:   This was somewhat incomplete with adding in the part or feelings of Amibilence.  I think it will help to make better sense of this when you see the relationship that these two concepts have with one another:)