I am sick of all the random babble and nervous chatter from my H. Not only is it constant, but often he'll slow his speech to a crawl-pace. If I get impatient and finish his sentence or guess the question and answer it, he'll get mad and say, "let me talk," or he'll sometimes be dishonest and say, "that's not what I was going to say," ( I know when he's being dishonest because he'll twist what he claims that he was going to say into something non-sensical, just so that he can complain that I wrongly finished his sentence or answered his Q before he finished. (Of course, he gets impatient when I'm talking, but oh the hypocrisy.)
I run a business. I need to focus. If I were to listen to all of his chatter, I would make costly errors. Then I need some "down time" QUIET TIME. On one hand, he'll acknowledge that I can't be interrupted all the time with chatter, but on the other hand, he really just wants me available to him 24//7. I've even told him that I may have to resort to "office hours" where I leave the house and do my work (by myself). H worked for 35 years and I respected his work time. Yes, we could call each other for various reasons, but if I called and he let me know that he was working on something, I would just politely say, "ok, call me when you can." I never said things like, "I am more important that your work." (which is what he'll often say to me."
I realize that most of his chatter is nervous-chatter and neediness, but I can't take it anymore.
When H was going to a therapist, he would complain that I wouldn't listen to him. However, she was aware of his constant chatter, because she often had to tell him to "hush" in their sessions, so that she could get a word in edgewise. Many times she recommended that H find some friends (to spread out the need for attention). That hasn't worked. H wears on people quickly. Even when H went to stay with his brother, his brother (diplomatically) told H that he enjoys quiet and that in their household, they don't talk a lot. (this was obviously in response to H's chattering all the time in their home.)
What can I do?
H went golfing with an old work buddy over the weekend....
Submitted by overwhelmedwife on
I was very happy that H went golfing with an old work friend over the weekend. The problem is that when he came home he was upset because the friend told him not to talk so much. Specifically, the friend told him not to WHINE so much.
I suspect that the former colleague probably thought this when they worked together, but didn't feel he could speak up at the time.