Dear Melissa:
There are no words to thank you enough for writing this book. The moment I started reading it I feel like you were narrating to me the past 15 years of my married life. I have only read a dozen pages and it has helped me to be aware of those issues that will sabotage my marriage. I am the one with adhd. My wife is very frustrated about it. Most of it for the shame of marrying some one with "mental problems". We all have something. I have read several other books about adhd but none of them is a practical as your book. Thank you so much because I have a reference source to go back to again and again. I have tried to convince my wife to read it but she continue to refuse. I think she will benefit of the practical lessons you describe and have. I wasn't her to be happy. I love her but sometimes all that comes out of her mouth are spells and snakes that makes me not want to come back. I'm still here for the children so they grow with a family father figure but sometimes I have to suck up on the nagging insults of my wife. Everything that happened for whatever reason she attributes it to my adhd. She did it again at the office- we work together- but I learned in the book a strategy to deflect the offense and the insults. The book is a must read along with your spouse if possible. Thanks. Geo.
Thank you
Submitted by MelissaOrlov on
Thanks so much for your nice note. As you get further into the book you will find many practical tips that I hope will help you.
Even though your wife does not wish to participate at the moment, that does not mean she won't in the future. Your best bet is to use everything you can from the book, particularly pay attention to optimizing treatment, and work on your specific issues. Over time, hopefully, your wife will notice a difference and you will be able to go to her and say "I've been working hard on this...now I hope that you will join me simply by learning a little bit about it." No pressure to do anything except open her mind to these ideas. If she does, it's likely she'll see your relationship in what I have written (since you have) and that will encourage her to get more involved.
As another resource, the latest on treatment options can be found at my online treatment guide. Make sure to download the two free chapters as the one on treatment is quite helpful.