My husband has been diagnosed with ADHD, is 60 & agrees he may have it, but will not medicate. Our marriage of 28yrs has always been a struggle due to his ADHD. Last year he betrayed me by cheating on me online. I was devastated and did not understand his behavior at all. It was way out of character for him. We have been going thru counseling and he said he felt I did not love him any longer. I know at the time I was requesting more of him in the relationship and he felt rejected. I recently have been reading about RSD and ADHD. I now know my husband was experiencing the effects of this disorder and that is why he cheated. However, I do not feel I can approach him about this because whenever I try and talk about the ADHD he says I am just trying to find things wrong with him. I am attending Al-anon and trying to stay in my lane. How do I have a relationship with someone who is so sensitive?
Rejection Sensitivity Disorder and ADHD
Submitted by km7821 on 02/12/2018.
Awareness and acceptance of reality is difficult for most of us
Submitted by c ur self on
I suggest you both read Mellisa's book "The adhd effects on marriage"...Your husband will need to accept the impact his thinking, feelings, and behaviors have on him is shared...Just like you have spoken here about staying in your own lane....You know you must be open and aware of your own actions....His sensitivity is based around his desire to feel good about himself (the desire for respect in men is innate, we were created that a way) (just like a women's desire to be loved and protected is innate).
But he must understand you are no threat to his reality, and unless you both are forthright about what is obvious to each other, then you can't make progress....The working of our minds can be helped, but, the first step in that is always awareness and acceptance....
Try to stay positive and keep your focus on Love 1st.:)
C