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I used to be the same way. Always letting my husband do what he wanted to do, when he wanted to do it. I guess in some ways I felt sorry for him because he didn't have much growing up. Well, it got way out of hand. Caused many problems in our relationship. Then, about three years ago, he was diagnosed with ADHD and it was an awful thing to find out that I had been fueling the fire, letting him do his thing all this time. An ADHDer's dream!!!!! No suffering of consequences!!!!!
Our discussions about finances would always turn into a fight, too. This was his way of getting off of the subject, as I was not into fighting and getting nowhere and he knew it. I was so frustrated that I finally just put all of our debt down on paper and put the paper in front of him. I truly believe he had no idea how much we owed and luckily, in my case, it was a wake-up call, at least so far as our finances go. We have made progress but still have a ways to go.
Please, some way, some how, get your husband help for his anger. I lived many years with an angry husband and believe me it destroys a relationship. I finally became bold enough to stand up to him and help him recognize his anger. Counseling helped mine but it only helps if they are willing. Only you know if your husband is!
Don't wear yourself out trying to make him happy. It only steals your happiness and joy. We cannot make someone else happy no matter how hard we try. A person's happiness must come from within. He must be hurting and until he deals with the hurt he will most likely never be happy. I know my husband is still dealing with alot of hurt from his past, through counseling, which is going to take a long time, and I am seeing some happiness from time to time.
I used to be the same way.
Submitted by newfdogswife on
I used to be the same way. Always letting my husband do what he wanted to do, when he wanted to do it. I guess in some ways I felt sorry for him because he didn't have much growing up. Well, it got way out of hand. Caused many problems in our relationship. Then, about three years ago, he was diagnosed with ADHD and it was an awful thing to find out that I had been fueling the fire, letting him do his thing all this time. An ADHDer's dream!!!!! No suffering of consequences!!!!!
Our discussions about finances would always turn into a fight, too. This was his way of getting off of the subject, as I was not into fighting and getting nowhere and he knew it. I was so frustrated that I finally just put all of our debt down on paper and put the paper in front of him. I truly believe he had no idea how much we owed and luckily, in my case, it was a wake-up call, at least so far as our finances go. We have made progress but still have a ways to go.
Please, some way, some how, get your husband help for his anger. I lived many years with an angry husband and believe me it destroys a relationship. I finally became bold enough to stand up to him and help him recognize his anger. Counseling helped mine but it only helps if they are willing. Only you know if your husband is!
Don't wear yourself out trying to make him happy. It only steals your happiness and joy. We cannot make someone else happy no matter how hard we try. A person's happiness must come from within. He must be hurting and until he deals with the hurt he will most likely never be happy. I know my husband is still dealing with alot of hurt from his past, through counseling, which is going to take a long time, and I am seeing some happiness from time to time.
My prayers are with you in your troubled times.