Hi;
I am a type A, disciplined neat freak. I am married to an ADD man and have been with him for 21 years. We have two children and a lot of family responsibilities. I am so exhausted, stressed, angry,and desperate. I have no one to talk to, no one to help me, no hope, no life because I go non-stop every day, all day, and most of the night. Haven't slept in two days. If my family knew the truth of my existence they would hate my husband forever and insist I get a divorce immediately. They are probably right but I am embarrassed and utterly and completely destroyed by what this ADD has done to me and what used to be my life. I can't even imagine any kind of support right now but I'm putting myself out there. Can anyone give me any hope at all?
The hope is in changing yourself
Submitted by Standing on
I was a "Type A, disciplined neat freak". Haven't been, for some time. That description of yourself puts you into a box, an unsustainable position, in my opinion.
There are many things about my 10 year marriage to a narcissist with add that have felt like they threatened to destroy me, BUT
ridding myself of alot of my old "Shoulds" is not one of those things.
Individual counseling could help you to redefine yourself in your own eyes, so that you can realize how much of an unnecessary burden you've been hauling around with you.
Simply said, you do not have to be perfect... no one is. If keeping up appearances for everyone around you, including your family, has seemed to have utmost priority, then you need a priority shift. It's a process and you will need help to get through it. Shifting your own priorities will not necessarily make it easier to live with your husband, but will definitely make it more comfortable for you to live in your own skin... and you will be able to rest. Take good care! You have to live with yourself for the rest of your life, and today is a great day to do everything possible to be able to tolerate yourself more easily.