That is what I hope for. Alas, the ADHD Community, or should I say Assembly, seemingly contains many individuals who (we), reside in, and feel safest in, our own personal protective universes.
Don’t get me wrong, I am grateful for the rewards this site has rendered to my DW for nearly 6 years, and the Comrades she is able to relate to on deeply painful and personal levels.
I just find it draining to be the sole participant, (here on this forum), in actively making an effort to communicate with my spouse and find answers, while being barraged with TMO.(too many opinions) for me to reasonably, coherently navigate.
It is not clear to me as to why there are so few of (in my case), the male counterparts, who were *blessed/cursed* with the Titled neurology, to come forward and speak their hearts. (Aside from the fact that Our breed has had plenty enough disapproval to date, to last to Eternity).
Surely for every spouse holding the title ‘Non-ADHD’, there is at least one current or former ‘help-mate’ as counterpart. Surely we have a stake in this ‘dang-blasted’ EFFECT ! .Surely our stories are valid and worthy of being told, and more importantly being empathetically received.
If you are out there, and decide to jump-on-in, I will admit resisting the ‘fight-or-flight reflex is, well let's just say it takes a lot more out of you than you knew you had. While on the other-hand, and at the same time, (for me anyway), I have embarked on sobering journey learning how my Ferrari Brain w/ bicycle brakes can be all over the road, .......and ever so slowly…….. Trying to master, how to ‘feather the controls’.
So ‘come-on-in’. I can't guaranty a you won't get nicked up, but along with the Jelly-fish,Sharks & Reefs, there is a lot more under the surface.
In Anticipation of ‘like’ kinship.
ADH9er
P.S. If your gonna stick your toe in, cover your whole leg with ‘chain-mail’ (armor).
do people even know this is here?
Submitted by dancermom on
I wish the support forum was more supportive, too. Unfortunately, even in the older threads of the "adhd support" forum, I see nons venting and this seems kind of unhelpful since we are venting pretty much everywhere else, too. We do need a place to vent, but you deserve collaboration and support, in my opinion.
My husband runs from the label ADHD and will not be evaluated. The last time I tried to work with this directly was a disaster and I had to decide at that point whether I could stand to stay or needed to go. Then God took it out of our hands and created the medical disaster miracle, where we were both shown that progress could be made.
We are working "off label" and this is the only way we are making progress, one behavior at a time. It's very very slow which is the pace he can accept. I could not mention this place to him, but I do hope he finds it some day.
I believe so...
Submitted by ADH9er on
Dancer mom, Your 'compassion in your passion' speaks volumes, and I offer my sincere greatfulness. I have back-read some of your posts and my hunch is (as a card carrying member), that residing deep in your DH's fog, is the knowledge of how 'Blessed' he is to be with you. I hope for his enlightenment.
It took (& takes) 'much' for me to find the resolve to reach out. I have the comfort of knowing that Melissa has my back, as she advocates for ALL to thrive.
ADH9er