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The 'meds break' is and old school way of thinking. ESPECIALLY when it comes to adult ADD. If you are a kid, there is something to be said for 'giving your body a break' as kids bodies are still developing and growing, and the meds can effect appetite. You can't say, "Sorry I ran that stoplight officer, but it's Saturday. I don't have to take my meds today, so I don't notice stuff like stoplights and One Way signs and other people's turn signals. I CAN'T notice these things without my medication. But, like I said: it's Saturday, so it's not my fault and you shouldn't give me a ticket. Oh... yeah... REALLY unfortunate about those people who are dead now... But, you must understand: I need to relax on the weekend."
I'd LOVE to sleep all weekend! That sounds awesome! However, in addition to the 3 (soon to be 4) part time jobs I have I am also a stay at home mom. I do all the cooking, all the housework and 99% of the child care. DH will read a bedtime story, and I can ask him for help with some things pertaining to the kids, but I cannot overuse these favors as he always has work, work and more work. I must take meds every day, or I do not function.
I suppose in theory I can understand your DH wanting to give his body a break if he is having trouble sleeping. I am so exhausted and HAVE been exhausted for nearly 6 years. I can sleep anytime, anywhere if given the chance, even with 20mg of Adderall kicking in. I am up at 6:30, and cannot go to sleep until midnight or later (when I've got everything clean, put away, prepared for the next day) There is no 'me' time. There is no 'family time'. there is no 'weekend relaxing' for me. I am always on duty with the kids, my husband always has 'work to do.'
Last weekend we visited relatives. When we got there, they invited us to the pool. DH announced that he was too tired from driving to come, so I went with the kids. Now, you probably understand the energy it takes to keep TWO children under the age of 6 safe in the water by yourself..... So no.... I can't skip meds on the weekend. When I do the SAME drive BY MYSELF, I cannot announce that I'm tired and have someone else take the kids out somewhere so I can take a nap.
I cannot skip meds on weekends until Fall 2027 (and that's only if I don't have to drive anywhere...)
My husband says the same thing too. He says that he wants to decompress and be "himself" off the meds if he doesn't have anything to do. He used to use the "my body needs to rest" excuse but he finally realized that it wasn't medically necessary, so he fell back on the wanting to be himself thing.
He has gotten better about getting up at a decent hour an spending time with me though. Now he actually works on weekend nights so it's a bit different for us. We spend time together on Monday and Wednesday nights, but I do get frustrated at never being able to go away anywhere on the weekends because he has to sleep off 3rd shift Friday on Saturday and turn around go back in at 9pm. We can't even day trip it to the mountains or anywhere. It's obnoxious. He got up on Monday (Ladbor Day) at 3pm and was like "I wish we had the money to go to the Apple Festival in X city." I was like, "It's a nice thought, but by the time we drive an hour and a half, it will be nearly 5 and probably almost over." Geez. You can't win.
Is husband depressed by chance? Ten hours is pretty crazy. My husband was like that after we got married and he lost his job. He was clinically depressed although he never sought treatment, unfortunately for the both of us.
I agree with ellamenno: totally old school thought. You NON-ADHDers are blessed to have your full working brain 24-7. Why the heck do some people (from both sides) think that people like me only need our brains in limited doses? I am such a different person without my meds. Sometimes, when the apathy kicks in because my meds are wearing off (INFINITELY worse with fatigue), it feels a little like being drunk (WHO CARES about important and essential things??)
He's saying he "can't relax." Stimulants do have a known side effect of causing anxiety in some people. Is this the issue? Have you asked him how it makes me feel physically and mentally? If he's physically uncomfortable (heart racing, stomach aches), it might put him off the meds. I don't drink coffee anymore because it just makes it worse. Maybe a dosage adjustment is in order, or even a med switch. I've tried so many different meds: Wellbutrin, Concerta, Ritalin, Strattera, Adderall, Vyvanse, Focalin. They each have their sides effects, but everyone is different so it's kind of a crap shoot.
old school....
Submitted by ellamenno on
The 'meds break' is and old school way of thinking. ESPECIALLY when it comes to adult ADD. If you are a kid, there is something to be said for 'giving your body a break' as kids bodies are still developing and growing, and the meds can effect appetite. You can't say, "Sorry I ran that stoplight officer, but it's Saturday. I don't have to take my meds today, so I don't notice stuff like stoplights and One Way signs and other people's turn signals. I CAN'T notice these things without my medication. But, like I said: it's Saturday, so it's not my fault and you shouldn't give me a ticket. Oh... yeah... REALLY unfortunate about those people who are dead now... But, you must understand: I need to relax on the weekend."
I'd LOVE to sleep all weekend! That sounds awesome! However, in addition to the 3 (soon to be 4) part time jobs I have I am also a stay at home mom. I do all the cooking, all the housework and 99% of the child care. DH will read a bedtime story, and I can ask him for help with some things pertaining to the kids, but I cannot overuse these favors as he always has work, work and more work. I must take meds every day, or I do not function.
I suppose in theory I can understand your DH wanting to give his body a break if he is having trouble sleeping. I am so exhausted and HAVE been exhausted for nearly 6 years. I can sleep anytime, anywhere if given the chance, even with 20mg of Adderall kicking in. I am up at 6:30, and cannot go to sleep until midnight or later (when I've got everything clean, put away, prepared for the next day) There is no 'me' time. There is no 'family time'. there is no 'weekend relaxing' for me. I am always on duty with the kids, my husband always has 'work to do.'
Last weekend we visited relatives. When we got there, they invited us to the pool. DH announced that he was too tired from driving to come, so I went with the kids. Now, you probably understand the energy it takes to keep TWO children under the age of 6 safe in the water by yourself..... So no.... I can't skip meds on the weekend. When I do the SAME drive BY MYSELF, I cannot announce that I'm tired and have someone else take the kids out somewhere so I can take a nap.
I cannot skip meds on weekends until Fall 2027 (and that's only if I don't have to drive anywhere...)
My husband says the same
Submitted by dazedandconfused on
My husband says the same thing too. He says that he wants to decompress and be "himself" off the meds if he doesn't have anything to do. He used to use the "my body needs to rest" excuse but he finally realized that it wasn't medically necessary, so he fell back on the wanting to be himself thing.
He has gotten better about getting up at a decent hour an spending time with me though. Now he actually works on weekend nights so it's a bit different for us. We spend time together on Monday and Wednesday nights, but I do get frustrated at never being able to go away anywhere on the weekends because he has to sleep off 3rd shift Friday on Saturday and turn around go back in at 9pm. We can't even day trip it to the mountains or anywhere. It's obnoxious. He got up on Monday (Ladbor Day) at 3pm and was like "I wish we had the money to go to the Apple Festival in X city." I was like, "It's a nice thought, but by the time we drive an hour and a half, it will be nearly 5 and probably almost over." Geez. You can't win.
Is husband depressed by chance? Ten hours is pretty crazy. My husband was like that after we got married and he lost his job. He was clinically depressed although he never sought treatment, unfortunately for the both of us.
Going to edit this and
Submitted by Justwannagiveup on
I would be a mess without meds on the weekend.
Submitted by ADHDMomof2 on
I agree with ellamenno: totally old school thought. You NON-ADHDers are blessed to have your full working brain 24-7. Why the heck do some people (from both sides) think that people like me only need our brains in limited doses? I am such a different person without my meds. Sometimes, when the apathy kicks in because my meds are wearing off (INFINITELY worse with fatigue), it feels a little like being drunk (WHO CARES about important and essential things??)
He's saying he "can't relax." Stimulants do have a known side effect of causing anxiety in some people. Is this the issue? Have you asked him how it makes me feel physically and mentally? If he's physically uncomfortable (heart racing, stomach aches), it might put him off the meds. I don't drink coffee anymore because it just makes it worse. Maybe a dosage adjustment is in order, or even a med switch. I've tried so many different meds: Wellbutrin, Concerta, Ritalin, Strattera, Adderall, Vyvanse, Focalin. They each have their sides effects, but everyone is different so it's kind of a crap shoot.
ADHDMomof2