Submitted by DawnAndrea on 04/18/2016.
I am new to this website and keep seeing Melissa Orlov state the following: "couples that are well educated about how to manage the impact of ADHD can thrive together" However, everything I am reading is to the contrary and doesn't give me much hope, Where are the testimonials from all of the "thriving couples"???
Hi, Dawn
Submitted by NowOrNever (not verified) on
Hi, Dawn
This is a support board, as I understand it. Think of it as a learning lab. And a place, because there are relatively few of them offline, to say you need support, and know you'll be listened to & sometimes people will help you work something through.
I think I'm in a thriving still pretty new relation. But that sure doesn't mean that we're not dealing with some really big issues, due to our ADHD/non ADHD differences. Anyone who thinks having ADHD is easy hasn't arrived at the picnic yet.
What do you mean by thriving?
I count it being alive, in love, living with a gorgeous human being, and still standing, looking down the gun barrel of aging and loss, which we'll all live through until we don't live any more, and grateful for the chance to tackle it.
You?
Thriving
Submitted by MelissaOrlov on
Thanks for your question! Take a look at the comments at the bottom of the seminar page to get a feel for some of the folks who have come here and learned to thrive. There are many more couples I have been in contact with (many of them through the live seminar) who have learned how to turn their relationships around with the information they have gotten here...but after a while I stop posting the notes they send me. But it is also the nature of the internet that those who are doing really well are less likely to spend time online working through their issues (because they are off leading their lives)...and those who have problems are in need of the support that this forum can provide, and so spend time in the conversation, trying to work things out. Further, of course, only those couples who are struggling make the effort to find this information in the first place...so the view of living with ADHD is distorted to the negative if all you do is pay attention to the forum.
Which is not to say it's not hard for many couples - it is. The majority of couples impacted by ADHD struggle greatly, at least until they learn how to interpret the ADHD, and learn some critical information about both managing the ADHD better (and how important that is!) and how to respond to ADHD in productive ways that help make the relationship healthier (other partner.)
Many who use the information here - and in particular, my courses and books - which synthesize the steps needed to change things (and that work best!) - find the love and affection they thought they had lost. But not everyone. To promise it were so would be wrong (and unethical). If you have further question about which resources might work best for you, or ideas about a good path to take to start to reset the direction of your own relationship, feel free to contact me. (Identify yourself as the person who wrote this forum post, please!)
I hope you'll join in the conversation, and take advantage of all of the information here - and promise to help you on your journey as best I can.
Melissa