For me, traveling with my ADHD husband is truly a panic inducing experience. He has the overfocused type of ADHD. When we travel and he's in an unfamiliar environment, his brain isn't able to take everything in. He only comprehends about 50% of what is going on around him, maybe less. This causes his judgement and decision making skills to b very impaired. I would say he makes some decisions at a 10 or 12 year old level. To further complicate matters, he insists on being in complete control of our activities and we are at his mercy. As a result, our physical needs have been neglected and we've been put in dangerous situations many times.
I had a full blown panic attack 10 years ago in the days leading up to a trip to Mexico. That was my first panic attack and I ended up in the emergency room with that one.
We're preparing for a week long trip right now. Yesterday I was in a state of semi panic all day long. I called my husband at work and unloaded on him in a very loud and unpleasant way. He handled it pretty well. He's making an itinerary and trying to plan and prepare, which he's never done before. He's trying to reassure me, but deep down I know he has no control. We are at the mercy of ADHD.
Do any of you have any advice or stories that will help me deal with traveling this summer? Thank you!
No advice but I empathise
Submitted by Evie_K on
I understand your situation and have experienced it many times but I have never found a good way to deal with it. When traveling, map-reading and driving are things that husband insists on doing as a point of pride. I hope his thoughtful planning makes life easier. Is there a way you can discuss control over activities so that both of your input is given weight, rather than him having complete control? Is he open to that?
Well, we're on the second day
Submitted by Hopeful Heart on
Well, we're on the second day of our trip and we just ran out of gas in the middle of nowhere. Luckily, we had one bar worth of phone service and were able to call AAA to bring us some gas.
Four more days to go!
Glad you got gas:)
Submitted by c ur self on
After what you said above, I might think twice before I submitted myself to being at his mercy on trips...Just saying...You might want to come up with some boundaries about what you will and want participate in...It really don't sound safe, and you said he wants to be in control of everything. Some times when our spouses aren't capable or refuse to see the reality of their living of life...We just have to put our big boy/girl pants on, and set some real boundaries whether they like it or not...It doesn't have to be done disrespectfully, but, you have a life, and you can make choices that you feel is safe and wise...
I know many spouses who have control issue (especially us men) want handle being questioned or boundaries set on us (**Control**)...But if it's about safety and being safe he will just have to get over it...
Blessings on the rest of you trip, I hope you have nice time and a safe time....
C