I just came back from vacation with my wife, who only admits to having ADHD when it is a "you can't blame me because I have ADHD" excuse, and our two kids.
She almost left her body pillow in a hotel room--until I reminded her to check because she had previously had to buy new ones after leaving them in hotel rooms.
She lost her phone at Colonial Williamsburg. She had almost lost it on our last big family vacation. She goes through phones very quickly. She got a new phone that night. She then ruined the new phone at an amusement park. Security from Williamsburg called me and said they found the phone. I reminded her to call them back, but she kept putting it off. She did finally call. But her new phone is still not working and her old phone is not here yet.
She almost killed my phone. I wanted to put it in a locker, but she insisted that a sealed pouch she had would protect it from the rapids ride. Water got in. It did not receive data or calls for several hours. It also showed an icon for headphones being plugged in. Thankfully it got better.
She got into a fight a Williamsburg because she said something rather innocuous to a worker about what our ADHD daughter would like to do as an apprentice there. Our daughter lost it. She insisted she never said that. Further into my trying to calm her down, she complained about things that I am all to familiar with, such as my wife telling personal and medical inforamtion about us to strangers.
At Harpers Ferry, our daughter left us to find a bathroom. My wife said she would look for her in the bathroom and I should look around the building we had been in. I found her right away. I could not call my wife because my phone was broken and I did not know where the bathroom she was going to was located. So I waited. And waited. I finally tried to find the bathroom and ran into our son. He told me that my wife as shopping in the bookstore! It did not occur to her that she should come back and tell me what she was doing first--despite similar things happening earlier in the trip.
Our daughter complained about not liking civil war cites, but she is crazy about Williamsburg--probably autism spectrum issues. My wife tried discussing this with her, and our daughter erupted. There was no reasoning with and her arguments made no sense. So I tried to ask if we could drop the subject. Nope, my wife pressed on. She then told me I hurt her feelings, even though I explained that i was simply trying to avoid having our daughter continue screaming during the drive. Oh, she did did not think our daughter was screaming. We each had our own interpretation, both of which are equally valid. Um, no. There is such a thing as objective truth and our daughter was throwing a fit! My wife often does not know when to back off and gets into big, big fights with our daughter. She then said she felt that we were "piling up on her." I pointed out that at no point did I take our daughter's side or say that my wife did anything wrong. If we were not working together or focussing on the same issue, then I could not be "piling up on her." Once again, this was a matter of her feelings. That trumped any logic about what piling up on means.
On the way home, we went through a McDonalds drive thru window around 4:30. None of us had eaten since breakfast. I said I wanted a chicken sandwich. She got done with everyone else's orders and then asked me if I wanted anything! Uh, I haven't eaten since 9 am! And I just told you I want a chicken sandwich!
Busch Gardens
Submitted by vabeachgal on
Yep, the killer of phones. Please tell me you weren't there during this crazy heat wave. It's been hot here!!!! Like Satansville hot!
Yes, during the heat wave
Submitted by bowlofpetunias on
On the positive side, the lines were really short.
Oof. One long, hot holiday.
Submitted by Sollertiae on
Oof. One long, hot holiday.
The arguing in the car ride does sound like overwhelm for your daughter met under stimulation for your wife (the fact she didn't see the screaming). Then ran off into some sort of hideous spiral with one finding stimulation from the other, and the other not coping. With a side of poor reading of others emotions. In a locked room. Ouch.
After that time at Meow Wolf where I zigged and my partner zagged into oblivion, I usually ask where where he wants to meet for when we all get separated. And hope he remembers. :) Usually it is somewhere he enjoys and is the first place I'd check anyway, and at least narrows down the options. Failing that there is the car, and I get time on my own.
Alas with phones I think the most you can do is travel with a hidden spare, because as soon as they are slightly out of sight... bam, gone. My partner quite literally encases his in the toughest cover and chains it to him and even then it still sometimes escapes into the wild. So, hidden spare. Also useful if something happens to mine in say, a mosh pit.
My phone however is mine and it goes where I want it not where anyone else insists. Especially if there is water.
Hopefully there were some good moments as well.
You will figure it out someday, when you've had enough...
Submitted by c ur self on
If you will set boundaries, this will stop.... (I wanted to put it in a locker, but she insisted) Insisted ?? LOL....When you stop allowing her to control and manipulate you, your life will calm way down....Until you can say No!..And mean it, and walk away completely unaffected by anything she say's or thinks about your choices.....This will never change....
When you are surrounded by the type of behavior that your dealing with...The very last thing you should do is enable it....As long as you enable it, by giving in to it, it want change...Only get worse...Plus you will be the one they turn on...Every one blames the referee....