On the 3rd, she sat me down and told me it she was ending things. I'm acting the way I wish I can look back and be proud of. We have a daughter, 3 years old, were both exhausted, we have had other emotional issues going on and I can't stop trying to talk about them because I felt her pulling away so I chased after her. I've made every mistake possible, then began the ADHD effect on marriage yesterday and it's so triggering because it's just too late, but so accurate.
I don't know what I'm looking for here, I got diagnosed April last year and I'm not close to proper management yet. I just got through sorting medication and have begun therapy but I don't think my therapist is the right one.
If it weren't for my daughter, I would just have comment dissociated but somehow I'm holding myself together where it's needed. I don't think I can ever go back to my job. It's very new and in not living it to, (I lost my other job about a month after my diagnosis) I feel too raw. I feel poisoned, and weak. I want been what I lost. It's not exactly the marriage, that's gone and it was a title anyway. What we were was far more than that. Bit more just about everything familiar and comfortable in my life has been changed and removed overnight. My birthday is on the weekend. I'm...just defeated.
I have one splinter of hope keeping me together and I'm terrified of losing it.
Thank you for listening.
hugs
Submitted by Off the roller ... on
My heart goes out to you, it's so tough and hard and crappy. I'm glad you've posted here because you will be able to find comfort here and help and strength to get through the tough times ahead. I'm really sorry.
Thank you
Submitted by Astrosneddy on
Those words mean a lot.
I've found the audio book really helpful, looking at it as not saving the marriage, but finding a way to co-parent and hopefully cohabitate because I don't want my daughter split between two homes. It's so triggering though, leaning from it now, when it's what I wish I knew just months ago. But we knows what the future holds. As little as that means right now, it's still truth. Just little comfort.
Loss
Submitted by Swedish coast on
I feel for you.
The loss of family as it was is a monumental and irreparable thing. I too am experiencing that loss. Grieving it and trying to patch oneself together...
Everyone says life will be happier in a while, I believe it's true. Still, we might need to feel all those feelings of loss.
I have absolutely no advice, only sympathy. I hope you find your way forward.
Thanks
Submitted by Astrosneddy on
You know strangely, sympathy, empathy and compassion, are only things I can feel right now from strangers. It's so weird. From everyone else I know, it feels like pity.
So thank you so much, it's hard to express how knowing I'm not alone, helps. Even when it's strangers.