Submitted by ADHDSpouse91202 on 06/27/2024.
Does anyone have a good response for when your ADHD Spouse uses having ADHD as an excuse?
My spouse and I are in the middle of buying a house. They were upset with me because I left a blank document that needed to be filled out at work for a day even though she takes much longer than that and needs me to remind them of basic things like getting paystubs and submitting expense reimbursements routinely and regularly and then uses ADHD as an excuse.
There is usually nothing that would be beneficial to say...
Submitted by c ur self on
It's typical for people to want to excuse themselves for a moment of forgetfulness, distraction, or even a thoughtless moment or incident...Like you are doing here....(I did this, but she does this)....Accepting our spouse's lived out reality, along with self awareness for our own humanness, allows us to not have to say to much...It also encourages us to have grace for one another...Getting upset because your spouse does something (forgetting the form, or anything really) trivial, that you think they should have not done, is not ADD, it's control, it's mothering, it's attempting to think for others...In general it's disrespect...And it's really the upset person's problem, unless we unwisely wade off into their attitude issue...
I have to just be a man, do my best to ignore her hyper emotions, outbursts, etc....And be aware of any attempts to control, or disrespectful words....Never get sucked into answering to a controlling spouse...If she don't want to be the loving wife she vowed to be, then we can do zero about it...But, we must make sure we never mirror the behavior, because that (engaging it) is allowing ourselves to be manipulated...The more we calmly walk away from negative emotion's, and any form of disrespect, the more they will come to understand, "my spouse isn't engaging any behaviors or attitudes that aren't respectful and calm"
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Not yet
Submitted by ceolfrithtx on
I don't, but I'm subscribing to this thread. I am somewhat ADHD but my partner has it BAD.