Submitted by overwhelmedwife on 01/22/2015.
Guilt and Shame seem to be the common denominators to much of issues and reactions.
Where is it coming from? What is the genesis?
I suspect that those with ADHD (either inattentive, impulsive or combo) have had a life-long history of having "normal" folks commenting and correcting them. I think from a young age they have had to listen to people say, "why did you do that"? or "what were you thinking" or "you need to pay attention" or "you broke that because you weren't careful," and so forth and so forth.
Is that where it all started?
I think that might be true
Submitted by PoisonIvy on
I think that might be true for some people. I don't think it's true for my husband. In his case, I think that he's never learned to take the steps that help a person to reduce feelings of guilt and shame after making a mistake. That is, when he makes a mistake, he thinks "I feel bad" but he doesn't think about the problem and figure out how to prevent recurrences. Instead, he denies or forgets or minimizes or blames someone else. And actually, I don't think he feels excessive guilt or shame although he's willing to claim that he does, if he thinks doing so will cause other people to give him a break.
I think that is a common response
Submitted by overwhelmedwife on
>>>>> That is, when he makes a mistake, he thinks "I feel bad" but he doesn't think about the problem and figure out how to prevent recurrences. Instead, he denies or forgets or minimizes or blames someone else. >>>>
I think that many with ADHD respond the SAME way . and...I have found that when H doesn't something impulsively and dangerous and he luckily doesn't have a bad result, he will get mad if I mention that there COULD have been a bad result (such as driving recklessly or not watching the kids)
for the longest time, I would scratch my head wondering how H can have such a memory-less system.