I could write a novel on how one sided our relationship is, but for the sake of your sanity, I want to focus on one aspect.

My wife has kept notes on everything I have done 'wrong'. If I forget to take out the trash on a busy week, I am ADD even though it happens like once a year. She forgets things more often than remembering them. 

You get the idea. Compound that with the fact that her family thinks I am the bad guy. They walk into the house and say 'Wow (wife's name) you really keep a tidy house!' - but nearly all of that work was me. I do the laundry, I do the dishes, I cook the meal, shovel, fix cars, etc.

She accepts the compliment and if pressed, insists I do not do more than her. In fact I do less.

And now, she insists I am ADD and that her diagnosis was wrong. Yet, if she fails, she will fall back on ADD diagnosis and say Im shaming her. 

All I want is for 2 simple things to happen. Just acknowledge I do what I do and accept she has challenges that need to be at least mildly addressed. 

I get that ADD causes all of these issues, but I am flummoxed as to how they cannot math right! 

Im burning out trying to meet her insane expectations. She wants to remodel the house in a year, go to Italy every year, pay for her sister to go to Italy with us, pay for taking our 4 kids to Scotland for a few weeks, spend all her time on work, save the world, but leave me sit at home after surgery while she puts quarters in Aldi's carts to 'help random people'...

Someone please say something that makes this all make sense.