Hi all, this is my first time posting anything like this and I'm looking for some advice. As of recently the world as I know it has been turned upside down. In hindsight many of these things have been brewing for a while but it just seemed so sudden. I'm 40 travel during the week for work. We do well enough for my wife to stay home kids, dogs etc. We just purchased a camper as I've been dispatched to a job in an area that would be nice for that sort of thing and that way we can all be together after work. Upon trying to sort out some household things as we would have to figure out some arrangements for her hobby farm animals it seemed too much. That spiraled into her wanting to go back to Florida which is something we have talked about and both agreed on but things need to be done in order to leave. Ie repairs around house prior to listing among other things. Short story is we went from being together this summer to she wants to take kids to Florida and live there. Throughout our conversations I had asked where I fit into this and she says she's not sure. Her doctor has pulled her off meds several months ago and her counselor seems to be telling her that this is something she needs to do to make herself happy. She's brought up divorce but more so in a way of she doesn't feel it's fair to hold me hostage and can't seem to make her mind up on that. We are great friends, rarely have ever argued, and really get along well in general. Like I had said in hindsight our relationship has deteriorated throughout the years but more so in a drifting apart manner more than anything. But over the last few weeks it has really gone downhill. I know I'm leaving a lot out but I don't want to be too long winded. I asked her if she would be willing to try couples therapy and she agreed so I guess maybe there's hope. I'm just hoping someone has some advice or words of wisdom from being in a similar situation. I deeply love my wife and want to save our marriage I just don't know what to do anymore.
Wife wants to leave but can’t decide on divorce.
Submitted by Lost83 on 07/05/2023.
Sounds familiar
Submitted by Sometimes Hopeful on
Hi Lost83, you sound familiar. I also am almost 40 and going through a divorce to adhd wife. Instead of stopping meds she started them around the same time that divorce became the topic, but that was 6 months ago and she still hasn't moved out yet (although started...). In my case I heard it all - we're not compatible, we're better as friends, can't we be friends? (also she declined the counseling request).In my case our relationship was actually getting better since she started meds other than the complete lack of any physical or romance, but we were going for daily walks and spending time together and actually felt like it was turning around, until a week ago when she decided she actually is moving out and started hauling stuff away to who knows where. I do continue to have hope that maybe things will turn around, but I do have a lot of bad experiences/memories with her ADHD freak outs and getting constantly blamed for stuff that just isn't a way a partner should be treated so maybe it's for the best.