All seems well, then suddenly something happens that triggers you back to a really bad place. Here’s how to avoid getting consumed by feelings of ‘won’t this ever stop?!’
When I work with couples impacted by ADHD I often see an unintentional bias towards using the label of ADHD as a negative descriptor, rather than as a medical term that enables treatment and describes a particular way of being. This negative labeling - used by both partners - hurts relationships. as it may lead to blaming the ADHD partner for ALL relationships issues, while providing too easy an out for non-ADHD partners who also play a role in relationship issues.
Your mindset can make all the difference when you are in a relationship with an ADHD partner.
I want to share a note from the spouse of an ADHD partner who, after discovering ADHD was a factor in his crumbling marriage, decided to try to be more open to his wife's 'way of being' and experiences.
A woman with ADHD asks for more support here for those who have this special kind of mind…and I agree. But taking the negativity private isn’t the only way to go.
It is common that people diagnosed with ADHD as adults go through a period right after diagnosis in which they seem to make progress, then get into the doldrums. Adults are different than kids. With kids, the natural forward momentum of their development help keep progress with ADHD treatment headed in a positive direction. With adults it’s just the opposite.
