I recently finished reading a book by William Ury, "Getting Past No: Negotiating in Difficult Situations". This is not a new book (originally published in 1991), but the subject matter is timeless, and is applicable in all aspects of life. Although my purpose when I purchased this book had nothing to do with ADHD, I was simultaneously amused and astonished at how much of the material that the author covers is exactly what I figured out in adressing issues with my ADHD spouse when we were having serious problems.
One of the major points my wife, Sue, and I stress in our new book, Married to Distraction, is the critical element of time. People take time for granted. But without time, there is no attention, and with attention there is no communication or empathy, and without communication and empathy there is no connection, and without a connection there is no play, and without play there is no fulfilling intimacy, romance, or love. We often say that play is the main action of love. But it all depends upon the previous steps, starting with time.
We (Sue, Ned, Melissa) are excited and a tad anxious as we wait to see our books on the stands. This is like bringing a new baby into the world. We hope you all like our baby, MARRIED TO DISTRACTION: RESTORING INTIMACY AND STRENGTHENING YOUR MARRIAGE IN AN AGE OF DISTRACTION. Let us know, ok? Thanks!!!
One of the most common problems in couples in general and in couples where there is ADD in particular is the inability to make changes. This is vexing because, as they say in AA, if nothing changes, nothing changes.
When you and your spouse are first exploring whether or not ADHD has been a factor in your marriage it can seem both a relief (finally, a reason that explains so much!) and a bit overwhelming (ADHD seems to be everywhere!) Some with ADHD resist thinking about how much ADHD can impact their relationship because it makes them feel "broken" or lessened. I asked myself the other day - does it matter if you label it ADHD?
Married to Distraction: Restoring Intimacy and Strengthening Your Marriage in an Age of Distraction, by Ned and Sue Hallowell, with Melissa Orlov, is being released on March 16th. It's available for pre-order right now, and one of Dr.