ADHD and Marriage Blog

Non-ADHD Experience

Submitted by MelissaOrlov on 02/07/2010.

I'm editing the section of my book that has to do with developing empathy for your spouse.  I found many descriptions on this site about what it feels like to be the ADHD spouse, but have had less luck finding good quotes about the feelings that come with being the non-ADHD spouse.  There's lots of "this is what my life is like" and comments about how people do/don't get along with their spouses, but less about their dreams/feelings etc.  If you would like to write a paragraph or two about that below I would love to read it, as would the other readers at the site, I expect.  Thanks.

Improving Communications through Formal Meetings

Submitted by arwen on 01/10/2010.

As I've mentioned in a number of my posts, my ADD spouse and I separated several years ago because I just couldn't take dealing with his ADD issues any more.  Even though he had been on medication and in counseling for 10 years, there were still many problems, especially in the area of communication.  As our marriage disintegrated, the communications got worse.  So when we decided we wanted to try to salvage our marriage, my husband's counselor (who also knew me from some joint counseling sessions we had done) suggested that we should try a different approach to communication.  Instead of d

ADHD & Marriage: When Doing "Well Enough" Can Help

Submitted by MelissaOrlov on 01/03/2010.

What happens when an ADHD partner takes responsibility for ADHD issues, but still struggles to make things go smoothly?  Here's a good example of the process that couples go through to find a balance that can work for them.

One Reason ADHD Adults Don't See a "Need" to Change

Submitted by MelissaOrlov on 12/29/2009.

I was reviewing some research recently for the book I'm finishing up and came across an interesting bit of info that provides insight into why so many with ADHD perceive that "nothing is wrong" while their spouses see things differently.

Overcoming Nagging

Submitted by MelissaOrlov on 12/15/2009.

When you're trying repeatedly to get an ADHD spouse to "respond" to your requests it's hard not to get into nagging mode.  But non-ADHD spouses need to avoid chronic nagging patterns if they are to be successful, happy partners.  This is much harder than it sounds. 

Dealing with ADD and The Holidays

Submitted by arwen on 12/05/2009.

At our house, the holiday season has always been a special time of problems as well as joys.  The excitement of the holidays, the additional social interactions, the special demands of gift-giving and receiving, and the departure from routine all may be either especially stimulating or especially stressful -- to all of us, but especially to those in our family with ADD.  We always want to have a happy, loving, yummy holiday time.  Instead, we typically would either end up all yelling at each other, or in tears, by the time the holiday actually arrived.

ADHD Partners - Driving Without Driving Each Other Crazy

Submitted by MelissaOrlov on 12/02/2009.

It is with some humor that I say that a very sensitive area of conflict for many couples is driving.  Most commonly, the conflict centers around the poor driving habits of an ADHD spouse (and why they can't/won't change them) and who is going to drive when.  There is more here than meets the eye, though, so I thought I would explore it a bit.  If you have conflicts over driving, read on!

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