ADHD and Marriage Blog

Welcome to our ADHD and Marriage blog!  Please read this before you post:
Much of what is written on this blog is of a personal nature due to the blog’s topic.  We ask that you follow some basic rules:

In her first blog post, Sari Solden shares some tips on self acceptance.

I came upon this article about making one ADD spouse / one non-ADD spouse marriages work.  The author, Andrea Little (now Andrea Betts) had culled these guidelines together with her marriage support group peers.  I link to it here and hope that you enjoy the group's perspective and collective wisdom.

Follow this link to get to "Odd Couples!" by Andrea Betts.

Introducing Sari Solden, and a quick thought on gender roles

Effectively communicating with your spouse often seems like hard work - pushing the proverbial rock up the hill.  Have you ever stopped to consider the role that your everyday responses play in how smooth - or rocky - that communication is?  

I was moved by this recently posted comment:

"So much good advice but how do I get my husband to read with me or even try?
I am so alone and I honestly don't know where to turn. I can't leave due to finances and no where to go. I don't know if it would be right to call an abuse hotline, because he is just verbally abusive.
Learning more about the ADD mind is helping a little. Just no where to turn."

First, you are not alone!  There are many, many people out there who are in the same situation that you are in – feeling isolated in a relationship affected by ADHD, feeling as if they somehow didn’t get what they had bargained for in their marriage – that it all has been an ugly surprise.

To those struggling in a marriage that may be affected by ADHD, this may sound counterintuitive:  Determining whether or not a spouse has ADHD is a very good thing.  In fact, there is no negative side at all.  I broach this subject because a number of people have written comments suggesting that they believe that their spouse has ADHD, yet he is resisting getting a diagnosis (I use “he” here for simplicity – it could just as easily be “she”.)

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