My new book is about to be released, and it contains a significant section on overcoming “obstacle emotions” that keep you from improving your relationship (anger, fear, denial and hopelessness).  I’ve reprinted a very small portion of that section here for those who feel mired in anger.  This section is about the “myths” I sometimes hear people fall victim to about the “usefulness” or justification for their anger.

Six Dangerous Myths About Anger and ADHD

There is a standard "joke" that "on the internet they'll never know you're a dog".  As it turns out, we have our very own "dog" on this site.  For those of you who have been concerned about a poster named "Clinging to Life" and the histrionic responses of "Normal Mom" I would like to share that sad news that they are the SAME PERSON (also the same person as "Wild Child").  We know this from the log-in/out records for the site.  Incontrovertibly, these "three" people are one person, using the same computer.  Within minutes of logging out as one identity the user would log back in, from the same computer, under a different user name.  Unbelievable!

As I've mentioned in many of my posts, I am by nature an impatient, angry person, not at all shy of conflict.  I've always felt that there was so much that I needed and wanted to do with my life, and nowhere near enough time to do it.  I like people and having a  good time, but to enjoy myself and fulfill my life responsibilities, I needed everyday life to move right along.  I had a fairly short fuse, and anybody who got in my way or made it more difficult made me mad.

While my husband reads most of the posts on this site as the administrator, he rarely weighs in.  But yesterday he posted some heartfelt – and very wise - advice to a man with ADD whose wife is leaving him because she can’t take it anymore.  George’s perspective as a previously badly behaving man with ADD who has successfully changed his life is worth sharing.  Here’s what he says:

I have just read a book on the topic of anger and relationships that Dr Hallowell suggested - it's great and would be very, very helpful to any woman who is trying to make sense out of why nothing seems to change in her relationship even though she keeps trying to "fix" it.  (Men would benefit, too, but the book happens to be written with women in mind).  I have been trying to figure out how to communicate how to move from "stuck" to a more fluid place where couples can actually make progress.