ADHD and Marriage Blog

Married to Distraction in bookstores tomorrow!!!

Submitted by NedHallowell on 03/15/2010.

     We (Sue, Ned, Melissa) are excited and a tad anxious as we wait to see our books on the stands.  This is like bringing a new baby into the world.  We hope you all like our baby, MARRIED TO DISTRACTION: RESTORING INTIMACY AND STRENGTHENING YOUR MARRIAGE IN AN AGE OF DISTRACTION.  Let us know, ok?  Thanks!!!

Getting Unstuck

Submitted by NedHallowell on 03/15/2010.

 

One of the most common problems in couples in general and in couples where there is ADD in particular is the inability to make changes.  This is vexing because, as they say in AA, if nothing changes, nothing changes. 

Why Knowing (And Accepting) You Have ADHD Matters

Submitted by MelissaOrlov on 03/01/2010.

When you and your spouse are first exploring whether or not ADHD has been a factor in your marriage it can seem both a relief (finally, a reason that explains so much!) and a bit overwhelming (ADHD seems to be everywhere!)  Some with ADHD resist thinking about how much ADHD can impact their relationship because it makes them feel "broken" or lessened.  I asked myself the other day - does it matter if you label it ADHD?

Married to Distraction for Valentine's Day?

Submitted by MelissaOrlov on 02/12/2010.

Married to Distraction: Restoring Intimacy and Strengthening Your Marriage in an Age of Distraction, by Ned and Sue Hallowell, with Melissa Orlov, is being released on March 16th.  It's available for pre-order right now, and one of Dr.

Important to Read This - Clinging to Normal Mom

Submitted by MelissaOrlov on 02/10/2010.

There is a standard "joke" that "on the internet they'll never know you're a dog".  As it turns out, we have our very own "dog" on this site.  For those of you who have been concerned about a poster named "Clinging to Life" and the histrionic responses of "Normal Mom" I would like to share that sad news that they are the SAME PERSON (also the same person as "Wild Child").  We know this from the log-in/out records for the site.  Incontrovertibly, these "three" people are one person, using the same computer.  Within minutes of logging out as one identity the user would log back in, from the same computer, under a different user name.  Unbelievable!

The Importance of Validation and Seeing Through Each Other's Eyes

Submitted by MelissaOrlov on 02/09/2010.

Both ADHD and non-ADHD spouses have a tendency to feel as if their own vision of the world is the way that the world really "is" - this feeling is human nature.  We have many years on earth, we've learned certain things about how the world works and who we (and others) are in relation to what's around us.  So it can be a revelation when we have the courage to step outside of our own view and try to see the world through our partner's eyes.  Doing this can be very healing for a couple because in so doing you validate your partner.

Non-ADHD Experience

Submitted by MelissaOrlov on 02/07/2010.

I'm editing the section of my book that has to do with developing empathy for your spouse.  I found many descriptions on this site about what it feels like to be the ADHD spouse, but have had less luck finding good quotes about the feelings that come with being the non-ADHD spouse.  There's lots of "this is what my life is like" and comments about how people do/don't get along with their spouses, but less about their dreams/feelings etc.  If you would like to write a paragraph or two about that below I would love to read it, as would the other readers at the site, I expect.  Thanks.

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