Trying to avoid feelings of shame is only human, but when it comes to adult ADHD, gentle engagement with raw areas can lead to significant gains. But how to do that, when shame feels so bad? These ideas, provided by adults with ADHD, can help both ADHD partners and non-ADHD partners.
ADHD adults often carry a lot of hurt and shame with them. Learn what these shame triggers are and you can significantly improve your interactions. A recent conversation with five adults with ADHD and their partners highlights some of the issues.
ADHD may have undermined your last relationship, but it doesn’t have to destroy your future. Here are 10 tips to keep your future healthier and happier:
Your partnership includes too many lies – big and small. In three previous posts I’ve written about why this is happening, and how this hurts your relationship. ADHD – and responses to ADHD – can certainly play a role. So what to do? Here are 9 strategies for ending in your relationship:
Depending upon the research study, between 21% and 53% of adults with ADHD will experience alcohol dependence or abuse at some point in their lifetime. And, turning it around, it’s been estimated that 25 percent of adults receiving treatment for alcohol and other drug abuse have also been diagnosed with ADHD, which leads experts to believe that there’s an important link between ADHD symptoms, ADHD treatment, and substance abuse.
The study of mindfulness is showing promise for improving the lives of couples impacted by ADHD, and has already been shown to relieve stress and physical pain.
Do you think your ADHD partner is a narcissist? If so, you would not be alone - the question of narcissism comes up regularly - usually asked by non-ADHD partners who believe that their ADHD partner is unfeeling, selfish and self-centered. But while it's easy to label someone who comes across as self-centered as a narcissist, the truth may be a bit more complicated than that.
Eric Tivers recently published his view of the 30 best apps for those with ADHD in ADDitude Magazine (go to this link.) I would like to add one more that both my husband and I use very successfully - WorkFlowy. This is a VERY simple outlining program that is really great for capturing and organizing information like 'to do' lists, grocery lists, and presentation outlines. Very flexible, very simple, and it goes across your various devices. Take a look at the article to see if any of the apps might help you be more productive (or get more sleep!)
In my last post I wrote about 7 reasons partners lie, hoping this might help you better understand the lying that you or your partner might be doing…and even that lying can be rational, even as it is not healthy for the two of you. Now it’s time to explore a more nuanced understanding of the ways that lying hurts you and your relationship. My hope is that once I lay this out for you, partners who are inclined to think lying is ‘not such a big deal’ or that they only tell ‘little white lies’ will reconsider. Lying, as it turns out, hurts THEM as much as it hurts the relationship.
