Why do partners struggle so much with porn use? What's the big deal? This article provides my observations based upon working with couples faced with this issue.
Yes, that sounds like a sales pitch...but it's not. Happiness is good for our brains and good for handling stress better - in marriages, if you are feeling upbeat you are more likely to be able to take some bumps in the road. If you're feeling down, pretty much everything seems grim. Here's a link to a UTube TED talk on happiness that will not only make you laugh out loud, it also has a very important message about happiness. I urge you to watch it...and also to try two exercises.
This guest blog post has been provided by Hal Meyer and Susan Lasky of the ADD Resource Center.
You fell in love with his boyish enthusiasm, adventuresome spirit and easy-going charm. Now you are frustrated that he decides to go skiing instead of shoveling the snow off the walkway, or forgets to take the children to the dentist. You were fascinated by her many interests, creativity and “enjoy the moment” approach to life. Now you are fed up with the clutter of her incomplete projects, and annoyed by her indifference to planning meals and shopping. It is easier to love someone with ADHD than it is to live with them.
Want to learn more about ADHD - ADDitude Magazine has an excellent free series of webinars with experts. This month's adult ADHD topics include: staying on task; managing adult ADHD; improving your memory and information on alternative therapies. ALL are hot topics. In addition, you can listen to past webinar recordings, as well. Go to this link at ADDitude Magazine.
On January 25 I will be giving a 1.5 hour talk for therapists through the therapist website GoodTherapy.org. It is free for members of that site and counts for 1.5 CE credits. To prepare for this, I wrote a blog post about why therapists should get involved in helping couples with ADHD. If you have a therapist you are working with whom you think might be interested in the talk please let them know about this event. Since it's only 1.5 hours long it will simply be an overview...but it's a start!
On the one hand, today (Dec 31) will unfold much like tomorrow (Jan 1) - so what's the big deal about New Year's?! On the other hand, why not use the holiday as a reminder to reflect a moment about who we are and where we are going for the next 12 months? In that spirit, I hope you'll take a moment to set just a few resolutions in motion. Here are mine for 2013:
Do the two of you have the experience of the ADHD spouse talking about all the great things he/she would like to do, but then not turning those things into reality? You may well. Here is one specific idea to help the ADHD spouse turn the ideas into reality.
Do you have trouble keeping your workspace organized? Are there papers and objects everywhere? Piles upon piles? If so, here are five specific, ADHD-friendly steps that will clean up your office fast, then make it easier to keep it that way:
Want to know what success looks like when you've pretty much lost hope and then turn things around? Here is a letter that came in to me this week that describes it so well that I thought I would share it. Of particular interest, I think, is the connection between the two partners as they progress - they create an upward spiral of positively reinforcing behavior that really helps them succeed.
