I know this is a blog about marriage...but many of you have kids with ADHD and are looking for good sources of information about parenting and ADHD, too. Dr. Ned Hallowell recently gave a radio interview on this topic. The parenting introduction (by the interviewer) is good, too - and quick to read. You can find both at this link. Enjoy!
The New York Times recently published an article about the importance of having conversations about how money is being spent before you're in an emotional situation. Conversations around money, if done right, can also be a time to dream a little bit, especially if you're talking about travel, vacation or retirement. Even if you are fighting, can you find common ground in shared dreams of a possible future together?
Zoe Kessler and I tackled the topic of ADHD, marriage and anger from two different perspectives - that of an ADHD adult (her) and that of a non-ADHD adult and marriage expert. We had an interesting conversation around the biological side of ADHD anger - what that feels like, for example - and the environmental side of marital anger. You can get the link to the podcast from Zoe's blog, here.
Have you ever wondered what’s a “normal” sex life? There is so much buzz around the topic of sex in the forums right now, I think it’s time to write about sex – what might be going on if you’re having too little…and then I’ll write about getting away from porn and sex addiction in another post.
“I think my partner has ADHD – he shows all the classic symptoms. How do I approach him with this without making him angry?” This is a great question and I applaud any spouse who is sensitive enough to be asking it. Some specific ideas and hints follow.
I gave a one hour webinar for ADDResources.org not too long ago on the topic of "Reigniting Romance in ADHD Relationships" and they have been kind enough to let me link to the recording so you can see it. It's an hour long and one of a whole library of webinars that they offer. If you don't have time to watch, consider putting a reminder into your cell phone (or two, or three!) that will remind you to do something special for your partner on Feb. 14.
Conversations go all wrong when we inadvertently invalidate our partners (or worse, do so on purpose!) Lots of people are confused about what “validating” means – they think it means “agree with” or “empathize with,” neither or which is accurate. So I want to try to clarify what validation is, and why it’s important by sharing some examples.
There's a really interesting conversation going on in response to my last blog post that has morphed into whether or not a non-ADHD spouse should secretly record conversations to demonstrate to an ADHD spouse that they really are mishearing and mis-remembering things. An ADHD spouse has also suggested that recordings might be a good learning tool for "where things go wrong." Here's what I think:
