A woman who took one of my couples courses wrote to me to give me an update on how well she and her husband are doing. Since I often have requests from readers at the site to hear about the positive changes couples can make, I thought I would share some of her words. Of particular interest to you all, I think, will be what she writes about her children - if there were ever a reason to be inspired to take chances on change, this is it!
I'm delighted to announce that The ADHD Effect on Marriage won the Book of the Year gold medal for best new psychology book released in 2010 from Foreword reviews. (It was also a finalist for the USA Book News best non-fiction book of 2010.) If you haven't read it yet, consider getting a copy - just click on "buy now" at the left to go to Amazon.com.
Anna Quindlen, at this year's Grinnell College graduation ceremony, said "This is a moment to consider what 'doing better' really means." She was referring to how we think about personal success, but I think the quote is just as relevant to relationship success. I urge you all to think about what ‘doing better’ really means within the context of your relationship. Each person will have their own take on this question, but I thought I would share my own ideas.
I ask couples to clarify their personal boundaries so that they are more likely to work as partners. When you first start this process, though, it can feel as if you are getting “rejected,” particularly if those boundaries have to do with intimacy issues. Let me help you understand why setting boundaries is an affirmation of your relationship, not rejection.
Do you, like many other couples, find yourselves arguing over whether or not something happened a certain way in the past? Whether or not you’ve discussed a specific subject? Wondering whether your partner was actually THERE when you were talking about something with him or her? If so, you’ve probably experienced the “he said/she said” argument – the one that goes like this:
One of the participants of my couples course recently asked me “You talk about how important it is the measure how you are both doing against your goals…but what does that look like, exactly?” Here is a step-by-step guide to tracking and measuring your progress.
Registered users of this site can now download, for free, the first two chapters of The ADHD Effect on Marriage simply by going to the "free chapters" link in the main menu. If you're not yet registered, this might be a good time to sign up!
I was speaking in New York recently and was asked an excellent question by a man who has ADHD. The gist of it was this:
“My girlfriend sends me emails all the time when I’m at work and then gets angry with me when I don’t respond consistently. My reaction is to simply tell her ‘I’m distracted – I’ve got ADHD. I often forget to respond to you. Get over it!’ What do you think about that response?” Here’s my answer:
Calling all readers with ADHD - how do you stay organized? What works for you, and why? I'm particularly interested in electronic ways to stay organized via the iPhone or BB or computer. Share your ideas here with others on the site!
Sometimes we all need to eat crow – and right now the person who needs to do that is me. I am deeply embarrassed, one could say mortified, that I published that Simora is the same person as Red Haired Witch, Miss Behavin, Crazy Dave, Rene and Annoyedatlies. However, she isn’t that person (the other user names are, indeed, all the same person, but they are not Simora).
(It was also a finalist for the USA Book News best non-fiction book of 2010.) If you haven't read it yet, consider getting a copy - just click on "buy now" at the left to go to Amazon.com.