There is a terrific blog out there that can provide lots of insight into what it's like to have ADD - and that provides very thoughtful ideas for how to get the most out of ADD. The author, Jennifer Koretsky, has ADD and is the editor of ADDA's newsletter. Read today's post, What Won't You Do to Get the Job Done? to get a flavor for how she might contribute to your own insights about ADD in yourself or your spouse.
Do you have the experience where everything you do seems to end in conflict? Are you in the middle of a conversation and suddenly your spouse is going on and on about how you used the wrong word? One of our readers wrote about it this way: "the entire conversation is ignored and the one word is focused on, whether it be to accuse me of changing facts, or blaming her for something, taking a stab at me or just flat out missing the point...there is so much anger and unhappiness ... I have stopped talking since everything I say gets disected and used against me in some way."
There is now a wealth of information in the forum and blog posts here about what types of issues are related to ADD. A recent post reminded me that it also makes sense to focus a bit (pun intended) on the fact that not all marital issues can be ascribed to ADD (and the inverse, which I wrote about in my "Ode" post that some wonderful things in a relationship can be directly attributed to ADD characteristics). Here is the post that brought this to mind and my response:
It's too easy to think that ADD relationships are most often negative or hard. They can be, but don't have to be - which is what this blog is all about. Here's a reflection on the many really wonderful things that my husband’s and my daughter’s ADD bring to our family. I’ve outlined just a few of them below. Perhaps, after reading this, you’ll share some of the joy that ADD brings to your life with readers of this blog.
Doctor John Ratey, author of A User's Guide to the Brain and co-author of Delivered from Distration has come out with a GREAT new book on how exercise affects your brain - Spark: The Revolutionary New Science of Exerciseand the Brain tells you in easy-to-read prose how exercise improves your focus (ADDers take note!), beats stress, improves your mood, improves your memory and more. In fact, the right kinds of exercise actually GROWS more brain connections. Not sure about keeping that New Year's resolution? Read this book!
It is common that people diagnosed with ADHD as adults go through a period right after diagnosis in which they seem to make progress, then get into the doldrums. Adults are different than kids. With kids, the natural forward momentum of their development help keep progress with ADHD treatment headed in a positive direction. With adults it’s just the opposite.
We've added a forum to our site! The first time you are here you will need to re-register in order to post AND you will need to re-register for URL feeds. Also, everyone - please make sure to click on the registration email that comes to your box - that way your posts will show up immediately otherwise you have to wait for your comments to be approved.
I've been thinking a great deal lately about how poor communication contributes to the downhill slide of many relationships affected by ADHD. Here are seven basic ideas that will help you get along better with your partner:
