Ned Hallowell likes to say that while ADHD can be a reason you did something in the past, it shouldn’t be used as an excuse to do it over and over again. But before the non-ADD of you start to say “see, this is exactly what I mean!” let me clarify.
Starting soon..! For those of you who are within driving distance of Boston, Dr. Hallowell and his wife, Sue (an excellent therapist in her own right) will be conducting three group therapy sessions for couples starting this June 24th. This is a great opportunity for couples where one or both partners has ADHD to get the advice of real experts, in person, and to meet others who share some of the issues. The details follow - please read them before calling to register:
There are two new resources that I want to make you aware of. One is a new book by Nancy Ratey that provides a really interesting and useful approach to finally changing the ADHD behaviors that have seem so entrenched. The other is an upcoming conference about ADHD, sponsored by ADDA.
If you are in a marital crisis, do you say anything about it to your kids? While the answer to this question is extremely personal, I think there are some rules of thumb. Some of these are based in my personal feelings about how you foster trust in relationships, including the parent/child relationship. I would love to hear what you think and your own approaches.
I spend a lot of time helping non-ADD spouses understand how to interpret their ADD husband’s actions (or, more frequently, inactions – a word I use without judgment.) I think it’s time to write a piece for the ADD male about what non-ADD women want.
Many on this site have asked for my husband's ideas and opinions. What's it like to have a non-ADD wife? How did you come to terms with what ADD symptoms affect your marriage? George has agreed to answer your questions here...but to keep him from being on the hook forever, I'm asking that you send your questions now (respond to this post) and up until May 23. Then we'll let him get back to his own life!
I had a quick lesson yesterday in just how easy it is to fall back into old patterns when you are working to overcome anger and resentment. But my day was also a reminder about what it takes to keep those emotions under control, so I thought I would share it with you.
There are a number of posts in our forum from non-ADD spouses who would like to blame their ADD spouses for the troubles in their marriages. I personally think “blame” should be considered a 4-letter word that is banned from all marriages. The fact of the matter is that we are all responsible for the state of our relationships. Or, to paraphrase Newton’s laws of motion, “for every action, there is a reaction”.
I was just reading a post in the forum area from a woman sharing her experiences with how much using the word AND has improved her life with her sons and husband. I thought it was an interesting and positive idea that more would like to read about, so I link to it here.
When one partner has ADHD, it can be tempting for the other partner to micromanage their behavior. However, it is much easier to look at your own behavior than to try and "fix" someone else.
