Just read an entry on Sari Solden's blog about what to look for when searching for a marriage counselor if one or more of you has ADHD. Go to this link to read her suggestions.
It’s common to have concerns about taking medications for ADHD. “I don’t want to be medicated every day” is a common theme, as are concerns about side effects. But not taking medications also has side effects. Today I thought that I would try to cover some of the pros and cons of this difficult issue.
Are you embarrassed when your ADD spouse takes over a conversation at a party, and doesn’t notice when his audience winces or starts to yawn? People with ADD often have more difficulty reading emotional cues than those without, and this can cause some interesting moments both socially, and even between just the two of you at home. What to do?
Transitions are often very hard with people with ADHD, and this can cause headaches for couples. The typical response is that a non-ADD spouse expresses anger and disappointment that the ADHD spouse is never on time, can’t start or complete chores, and never seems to get into bed at a reasonable hour. This doesn’t need to be the way things are, though...
I recently read posting from a woman who has recently discovered her fiance has ADHD. In a somewhat unexpected way, the post brings forward some real issues for those who are considering marriage to an ADHD person, so I thought it worthwhile to post it, and some thoughts on this topic, as a blog entry:
A thank you to all who have been posting responses and ideas in the forum this month! As I catch back up with the blog and forum (I've been on vacation, feeling guilty about not attending to all of you...but immersed enough in what I was doing that I didn't really have time to respond to the forum questions thoughtfully). I've been impressed with the tone, as well as the content. of what people have written. (One person even posted EXACTLY what I would have posted as a response on memory - an article from a Hallowell newsletter. Wow!)
Ned Hallowell likes to say that while ADHD can be a reason you did something in the past, it shouldn’t be used as an excuse to do it over and over again. But before the non-ADD of you start to say “see, this is exactly what I mean!” let me clarify.
Starting soon..! For those of you who are within driving distance of Boston, Dr. Hallowell and his wife, Sue (an excellent therapist in her own right) will be conducting three group therapy sessions for couples starting this June 24th. This is a great opportunity for couples where one or both partners has ADHD to get the advice of real experts, in person, and to meet others who share some of the issues. The details follow - please read them before calling to register:
There are two new resources that I want to make you aware of. One is a new book by Nancy Ratey that provides a really interesting and useful approach to finally changing the ADHD behaviors that have seem so entrenched. The other is an upcoming conference about ADHD, sponsored by ADDA.
If you are in a marital crisis, do you say anything about it to your kids? While the answer to this question is extremely personal, I think there are some rules of thumb. Some of these are based in my personal feelings about how you foster trust in relationships, including the parent/child relationship. I would love to hear what you think and your own approaches.
