ADHD and Marriage Blog

Dealing with ADD and The Holidays

Submitted by arwen on 12/05/2009.

At our house, the holiday season has always been a special time of problems as well as joys.  The excitement of the holidays, the additional social interactions, the special demands of gift-giving and receiving, and the departure from routine all may be either especially stimulating or especially stressful -- to all of us, but especially to those in our family with ADD.  We always want to have a happy, loving, yummy holiday time.  Instead, we typically would either end up all yelling at each other, or in tears, by the time the holiday actually arrived.

ADHD Partners - Driving Without Driving Each Other Crazy

Submitted by MelissaOrlov on 12/02/2009.

It is with some humor that I say that a very sensitive area of conflict for many couples is driving.  Most commonly, the conflict centers around the poor driving habits of an ADHD spouse (and why they can't/won't change them) and who is going to drive when.  There is more here than meets the eye, though, so I thought I would explore it a bit.  If you have conflicts over driving, read on!

Introducing New Guest Blogs

Submitted by MelissaOrlov on 11/29/2009.

We have started a new area of the site, called "guest blogs" which can be found in the tabs at the top.  There are some reader voices here that have been particularly helpful over time and we would like new people to be able to find them easily.  Our first guest blogger has gone by the name of Arwen and many of you are familiar with her.  I will also move some other guest blog entries (Ari Tuckerman and others) to that area as I find time.  Enjoy!

Hallowell Against Use of Marijuana to Treat ADHD

Submitted by MelissaOrlov on 11/29/2009.

A quote in the New York Times on November 21 misled some people into believing that Dr. Ned Hallowell thinks that using marijuana to treat ADHD is a good idea.  Just the opposite, he thinks it is a very bad idea and has said so for many years.  Here is his response to those who had questions about this:

Overcoming Anger -- the non-ADD Spouse

Submitted by arwen on 11/24/2009.

As I've mentioned in many of my posts, I am by nature an impatient, angry person, not at all shy of conflict.  I've always felt that there was so much that I needed and wanted to do with my life, and nowhere near enough time to do it.  I like people and having a  good time, but to enjoy myself and fulfill my life responsibilities, I needed everyday life to move right along.  I had a fairly short fuse, and anybody who got in my way or made it more difficult made me mad.

ADHD and Marriage: Changing What Never Changes

Submitted by MelissaOrlov on 11/17/2009.

One comment I hear over and over again from non-ADHD spouses is their frustration that "we go through the same problems over and over again.  Nothing ever seems to change!"  There is a reason for this, as well as a way to interrupt this pattern.

Rethinking Aggression and Defense in ADHD Relationships

Submitted by MelissaOrlov on 10/27/2009.

How to help couples understand the destructiveness and intertwined nature of many of their interactions?  I was reading a novel the other day about civil war (an apt analogy for many ADHD marriages!) and came across some ideas that I think can help describe why couples get into negative patterns even when neither one of them wants to.

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