ADHD and Marriage Blog

The Care and Feeding of a Non-ADD Spouse

Submitted by MelissaOrlov on 05/13/2008.

I spend a lot of time helping non-ADD spouses understand how to interpret their ADD husband’s actions (or, more frequently, inactions – a word I use without judgment.)  I think it’s time to write a piece for the ADD male about what non-ADD women want. 

Husband's Turn

Submitted by MelissaOrlov on 05/12/2008.

Many on this site have asked for my husband's ideas and opinions.  What's it like to have a non-ADD wife?  How did you come to terms with what ADD symptoms affect your marriage?  George has agreed to answer your questions here...but to keep him from being on the hook forever, I'm asking that you send your questions now (respond to this post) and up until May 23.  Then we'll let him get back to his own life!

ADD and Marriage: Keeping from Going Backwards

Submitted by MelissaOrlov on 05/02/2008.

I had a quick lesson yesterday in just how easy it is to fall back into old patterns when you are working to overcome anger and resentment.  But my day was also a reminder about what it takes to keep those emotions under control, so I thought I would share it with you.

ADHD and Marriage: Using "Action and Reaction" to Turn Your Relationship Around

Submitted by MelissaOrlov on 04/29/2008.

There are a number of posts in our forum from non-ADD spouses who would like to blame their ADD spouses for the troubles in their marriages.  I personally think “blame” should be considered a 4-letter word that is banned from all marriages.  The fact of the matter is that we are all responsible for the state of our relationships.  Or, to paraphrase Newton’s laws of motion, “for every action, there is a reaction”.

ADHD Marriages: The Power of AND

Submitted by MelissaOrlov on 04/19/2008.

I was just reading a post in the forum area from a woman sharing her experiences with how much using the word AND has improved her life with her sons and husband.  I thought it was an interesting and positive idea that more would like to read about, so I link to it here.  

ADD and Marriage: Controlling Your Spouse's Life

Submitted by MelissaOrlov on 04/18/2008.

When one partner has ADHD, it can be tempting for the other partner to micromanage their behavior. However, it is much easier to look at your own behavior than to try and "fix" someone else.

Why Your Husband's ADD is Different from Your Child's

Submitted by MelissaOrlov on 04/14/2008.

If you have both a spouse and a child with ADD, there are some important differences between how you will naturally want to interact with them – differences that can really hurt your relationship with your spouse if you aren’t aware of them. 

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