Recent Comments
- by: J - one of my ADHD strategies for house keeping is not making work that I don't want to do. Even though it's not environmentally friendly, buying plastic plates, cups and silverware worked exceptionally well for me at various times! I also made a lot of one skillet meals, usually stir fry. One skillet, one utensil and one knife. The combinations are endless and they take minutes to make. At least the kitchen was always clean. Lol>>> on Forum topic - How to live and be a parent
- by: Swedish coast - C, I'm happy too that she's leaving. Hoping for a peaceful future for you!>>> on Forum topic - How to live and be a parent
- by: sickandtired - Good for you for picking your battles. If she's continuing packing and moving stuff to her old home, you don't want to upset the momentum by arguing over individual items. I argued with my ex over a few things, and he used it as an excuse to stop packing and not leave. I'm looking forward to hearing about your new, peaceful single life after she has totally moved out of your life! Congratulations!>>> on Forum topic - How to live and be a parent
- by: c ur self - I'm w/ you, relaxing doesn't mean idleness for many of us...I tend to not over think things when I continue with my regular routine's....My wife came home around 6:30 and packed up the kitchen...Most everything we have she say's belongs to her...LOL...I told her to take anything she wants...I'll be the happiest guy in town eating off of paper plates....:) c>>> on Forum topic - How to live and be a parent
- by: J - I discovered something the other day at work, having to do with one of my co-workers who has ADHD. I was trying to find a word ( or words ) to describe her at times and the best fit was simply a "bad attitude". This comes from not wanting to be there or having to work. I'm sure, at home, she's probably a different person which I'm sure she is. And she's not this way all the time, but still, enough of the time, which makes her hard to deal with. A royal pain would also fit! Lol So as I am, I tend to look...>>> on Forum topic - Successful Interaction
- by: Swedish coast - J, I believe you. I've seen this in my ex. There isn't a choice about some things. And also, the friction of working against (dis)ability sometimes takes too much energy to be worth it. I don't understand this exactly, but I've witnessed it. I think you should argue for your default Sunday morning. The things that could make it more palatable for your SO I'm guessing could be: 1) An agreed fixed time when you reunite after, like at noon, so she can have some control over her time while she waits, ie not...>>> on Forum topic - Successful Interaction
- by: J - Before I was ever diagnosed, throughout my life, I began to realize or notice the invisible walls. These were like mental blocks or black holes that I'd run into that seemed to prevent me from doing certain things that I wanted to do. I noticed some things came incredibly easy while others seemed impossible no matter how hard I tried. You might call this innate talent but these walls were different. These weren't just doing something poorly...these appeared as a complete inability no matter how many times...>>> on Forum topic - Successful Interaction
- by: Swedish coast - >>> on Forum topic - How to live and be a parent
- by: Swedish coast - Loneliness, oh yes. Haven't been out of a romantic relationship more than a few months since I was 18... It's foreign. But the thought of a partner is vaguely disgusting and also frightening. I couldn't trust anybody. Today it's Sunday. I'll try to do as you say and relax. It might mean digging up the rain wet garden for flower beds and putting in some late tulip bulbs. I think physical and mental distractions play a big part in getting out of the shakiest patches. Couch is a fickle friend. It may just...>>> on Forum topic - How to live and be a parent
- by: c ur self - I suggest you attempt to relax, and mimic the husband's life at times...There is absolutely nothing wrong with fun and terrible eating at times...The problem it can create is when there is no discipline of life to stop it from being or becoming the norm...Responsible living should be our priority, and we teach that to our children when we discipline away from those fun moments of frivolity back to the responsibilities life demands.... I can tell you, depressive and down moments come from loneliness...All...>>> on Forum topic - How to live and be a parent
- by: c ur self - If we throw out (never use) human diagnosis, (which I'm slowly learning to do)...That leaves us with only the reality of each individual's brain function, along w/ their spirit man, and the tendencies that produces in them in day to day living (The visible)....The simplified life, that produces less wasted words, less misunderstandings, less excuses, and just frank reality!....No judgements, just the visible fruit of every individuals life...(The why's don't matter in a relationship, only the product)......>>> on Forum topic - Successful Interaction
- by: Swedish coast - I think the parenting part is the hardest. You're forced to balance your needs and resources with the needs of several other (dependent) people. And if some of them have ADD, you need to also be their executive backup. A dog is probably a good comparison - you are so very responsible for it's happiness and health. I hope therapy will make a difference for you. Maybe I'll try it again too. All the best to you.>>> on Forum topic - How to live and be a parent
- by: AG - I started seeing a therapist myself Swedish, recently. I'm trying to focus on me- my thinking patterns and why they are the way they are. I don't have kids, so I can't speak to that part. I do have 2 cats and a small dog that (I feel / I think) creates a constant low level of tension in my life. The dog has been gone a week bc construction going on at our house and it has been so peaceful to me. My one cat is normal again. Anyway maybe talking to someone /a third party person might help. For me, it...>>> on Forum topic - How to live and be a parent
- by: AG - I think you're right J. My husband would run several miles every morning to get him going for the day before he was diagnosed, did this a couple decades. He was diagnosed after he stopped this routine. I have witnessed the benefits of his exercise in helping his focus and "readiness" for the day.>>> on Forum topic - Successful Interaction
- by: J - I know I've told this story before, but I can relate it better now. This is definitely tied to my having ADHD before I was diagnosed. When I was in school, I was doing two swim workouts a day at times, which meant, getting up at 5:45am and diving into a cold pool. Despite, having swum all my life, doing things like scuba diving and water sports of all kinds....I hate nothing more than getting into cold water. I think it's even a sensitivity of mine I hate it so much. I hate being sprayed by a hose or...>>> on Forum topic - Successful Interaction
- by: J - I'm thinking and relating this to and ADHD brain that's always working overtime. It's busy up there all day long! What feels good at times is a break from all that activity. If you think about brain waves and frequencies, the highest frequency is also the most alert and full concentration or Gamma waves. Down the list is Alpha and below that is Thera waves. As I understand it, Theta waves happen when your still asleep and when you first wake up. This is that time when your brain is just turning on and...>>> on Forum topic - Successful Interaction
- by: J - that thing I was trying to explain when talking about homeostasis and motivation and how medication changes that. I want to finish my train of thought below, only to say, there is a reason for this delay in my day before doing things. It's been a lifelong pattern but it has to do with my comment about pressure. Pressure is that "thing" I was trying to explain. The resistance I'm feeling to doing something like chores is real. Why? It's just an ADHD thing. But something has to counter the resistance that's...>>> on Forum topic - Successful Interaction
- by: Swedish coast - I think C has a great point. You could agree to arrange your Sunday so that you can both enjoy it, but separately before noon. There is no right or wrong when it comes to recreational time. I read this interesting book a while ago about recreation. I was wondering how to relax since it's been so hard. Not doing anything just drives me up the wall. The book said it's not an activity itself that is recreational, but the lack of purpose when you do it. Inefficiency is the point. You just gave a perfect...>>> on Forum topic - Successful Interaction
- by: Swedish coast - I believe she will see what you've done for her when she no longer has you. Like my ex husband, she might not have a full understanding just of how much you do, and that the comforts she's been used to have little to do with who she is. It would be easier to deal with someone who took advantage of one out of greed with an understanding. But the mind that has so poor self perception it doesn't know what its doing, cannot really be handled in any meaningful way except as you and I have - indulged, then sent...>>> on Forum topic - He says he hasn’t come up with anything yet
- by: J - The most profound statement my father ever made. He said it in context to me, getting hit by a car, who ran a red light ( in my early 20's ) while driving his car and he was mad, and I was defending myself by saying: "but I had the right of way !!".....and he said the statement above. There's so many things I can say about this moment that relates to me having ADHD, being criticized, getting defensive, RSD, and the relationship between my dad and I, it could fill a book. Only to say...this was a normal...>>> on Forum topic - Successful Interaction