Recent Comments

  • by: c ur self - 1 week 5 days ago
    J, many of us who read this documented dynamic understand it completely....All I will say is; that we will either allow it to become a wedge that produce's conflict (placing expectations for life to revolve around our wants and demands for others, as measured out by our own justified mental thought processes...(knee jerk and most common) Or we will recognize difference's and accept them fully even if they mean boundaries...(least common, and usually only adapted after much conflict) We all have a right to...
    >>> on Forum topic - Successful Interaction

  • by: c ur self - 1 week 5 days ago
    Hello friend!....Love C S Lewis...He has such a unique perspective on life and eternal life....I hope you are well dear lady!.... c
    >>> on Forum topic - Haven't been able to put into words

  • by: c ur self - 1 week 5 days ago
    She refused to even acknowledge the divorce papers for a month or so....(She lives in a mind that want touch what she can't control)...Last week I asked her again, she mumbled something and walked away again...I knew in my heart it was about money!....So I offered her 20,K, to sign it...She demanded 30,K...So I said No, and walk away telling her the 20K offer was only good for a week...So after thinking it over I realized that I wanted her to have every opportunity (only good things) in life...(I can't...
    >>> on Forum topic - He says he hasn’t come up with anything yet

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    by: Swedish coast - 1 week 5 days ago
    Yes, your texts resonate with me too since that deep and honest love is so relatable. Hoping for reconciliation is something I've done unawares. I'm surprised at it, I decided a year ago that nobody who treats me like this will ever enter my home again, let alone be forgiven and taken back. Dear C, is she moving out yet?     
    >>> on Forum topic - He says he hasn’t come up with anything yet

  • by: Off the roller ... - 1 week 5 days ago
    I'm so grateful for you and your way to communicate something in my heart that I don't have thr tools to communicate. 
    >>> on Forum topic - He says he hasn’t come up with anything yet

  • by: Swedish coast - 1 week 5 days ago
    Thank you. Now I've listened to it.  The ABC way of dealing with conflict in a relationship (Apologize and ask open-ended questions, Back off from criticizing and let your partner be who they are, Compliment and model desired change in your loved one) is probably very helpful. Along with daring to face incompatibility and break up instead of wasting time in incompatibility. What the podcast doesn't cover is decreasing executive functioning in your partner. If you had a beautiful relationship to start...
    >>> on Forum topic - He says he hasn’t come up with anything yet

  • by: c ur self - 1 week 5 days ago
    I kind of felt like this is where you were...I'm an HSP, who loves deeply...I feel you!...I'm going to be praying for you to feel better, so sorry you aren't well...Attachment is hard to break...Even when it's been or felt one sided, dysfunctional or unhealthy... (((hugs))) c....
    >>> on Forum topic - He says he hasn’t come up with anything yet

  • by: Off the roller ... - 1 week 6 days ago
    https://www.melrobbins.com/podcasts/episode-239   Just disclosure, I haven't finished it. It's a hard listen. 
    >>> on Forum topic - He says he hasn’t come up with anything yet

  • by: Swedish coast - 1 week 6 days ago
    Couldn't find that one?
    >>> on Forum topic - He says he hasn’t come up with anything yet

  • by: Off the roller ... - 1 week 6 days ago
    There's another one just before that one about long term relationships and it was very good. 
    >>> on Forum topic - He says he hasn’t come up with anything yet

  • by: Swedish coast - 1 week 6 days ago
    Thank you AG, I just listened to the Mel Robbin's 'To anyone going through a breakup' podcast.  It says many things about letting your old partner disappear, and not reaching out, which makes perfect sense to me. It also says 71% of people feel better in 3 months. I've been in the other 29% though.  The most enlightening point was that you're not free until you can let go of the fantasy of getting back together. I realize I must have this fantasy still. I saw him briefly the other day (for the first time...
    >>> on Forum topic - He says he hasn’t come up with anything yet

  • by: Swedish coast - 1 week 6 days ago
    Yes you're right, it's turning things around for myself I referred to. Him I've given up on. I think now I'm just in a grieving phase for the hopes and ambitions and also good times of the marriage. In my country the winter is very dark, and now's the darkest. I've been ill for five weeks and have caught a new cold today. So most things that regularly thrill me are out of reach at the moment. But there's lots: nature, long walks, hiking, swimming, gardening, painting, yoga, seeing friends, playing the...
    >>> on Forum topic - He says he hasn’t come up with anything yet

  • by: c ur self - 2 weeks 3 hours ago
    Sex (intimacy) between men and women will always open up hurt and pain when the purity of the Creator's purpose for it is defiled my our minds....Attempting to understand what each others carnal minds are willing to justify, just becomes a smorgasbord of pain and emotional dysfunction...All the things you are feeling are true to your nature as a man, just like her's would be if you were the one openly professing these same acts of marital betrayal.....  
    >>> on Forum topic - ADHD in both partners one undiagnosed

  • by: AG - 2 weeks 6 hours ago
    I know someone mentioned Mel Robbins podcast before and swedish coast she is doing some work / talks on relationships and break ups.   These were good to listen to, but also things you necessarily don't want to listen to.  Swedish- I pick up on your hurt.   And I can understand how you feel when you say it's harder that he still shows signs of caring and it would be better if he just "forgot" about you.   Mel talks about processing your grief from the end of your relationship as it was ...and then...
    >>> on Forum topic - He says he hasn’t come up with anything yet

  • by: Off the roller ... - 2 weeks 6 hours ago
    Hey Swedish, I logged on just to come on here and say how frustrating (moreso than just the normal frustration!) that must be to hear that. It is devastating and I can understand it so well bc I have been a recipient of that devastation too.  I also wondering what you meant by turning things around? For yourself, I hope? I don't have a magic wand of course (or I'd defintely wave it your way for sure) but I'm in intensive therapy right now and my realisation is that while I thought it was triage for my...
    >>> on Forum topic - He says he hasn’t come up with anything yet

  • by: ADHD1488 - 2 weeks 11 hours ago
    It was that fact that my wife has been talking to this person aswell which I found out the day before, I have no problem with her fantasying if it's just that but she acted on it is the problem. My wife has never had a problem having an orgasm with me and even saying my name when at climax so I don't think their is a problem with that. She has said that I'm emotionally and intimately the best she's had. I know she's not lying because her ADHD or autism doesn't allow her to lie even white lies that's why...
    >>> on Forum topic - ADHD in both partners one undiagnosed

  • by: J - 2 weeks 21 hours ago
    "Then she woke up just before I was leaving for work today and cuddled me again as I slept on the sofa last night, but I felt disgusted at the though that she may have masterbate over him last night then down here cuddling me before work." I'm not a an expert on this subject, nor, do I pretend to be but, as I read this last sentence a few things came to mind. I have come to my own personal thoughts on matters like these which I don't assume are shared by everyone. Having said that, I have a few questions...
    >>> on Forum topic - ADHD in both partners one undiagnosed

  • by: c ur self - 2 weeks 1 day ago
    Real love is easy....It's two people fully respectful of one another, sharing faithfully, lovingly, and honorably in this life together...Demand for yourself a healthy environment, if that mean's alone, then so be it....There is never a good reason to allow ourselves to be used and manipulated, because we make someone else's life easy!....That is mental and emotional abuse....I don't mean not do the right thing for children....But children must have safe environments, so the adults must be safe people, w/...
    >>> on Forum topic - ADHD in both partners one undiagnosed

  • by: c ur self - 2 weeks 1 day ago
    It's control, and the refusal to accept the reality of others (No matter how screwed up those realities are)....Much of my suffering (as is your's at this point in time) has been my demand to make it better! Until you (as I had to) STOP attempting to fix or worry about things out of your control, you will never take a calm hold on your own life....Never feel like you must respond or address things that aren't respectful or fruitful...When adults demand to live out things we would never mimic or touch...We...
    >>> on Forum topic - Struggling with co-dependancy

  • by: ADHD1488 - 2 weeks 1 day ago
    I have found out that she started talking to the person she was fantasying over 2 days before we separated and turns out she has done this with him before many years ago before we met.    She is telling me he lives in another country and what she is doing isn’t wrong. She’s acted on a fantasy weather he’s in another country or not. I feel like she doesn’t want me but doesn’t want me to leave so she doesn’t have to look after the kids on her own etc. I have had this in the pass but because she has told me...
    >>> on Forum topic - ADHD in both partners one undiagnosed

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