Ok... so does anyone else have this issue.  My husband is obsessed with XBOX/ Facebook and his phone. I work 45-50 hours a week at a very stressful work environment and he barley pulls in part time hours at his job working a couple days each week during the winter.  During his high season where he works 6 days out of the 7 during the summer, i make sure that he does not have to do a thing at home because i acknowledge that his job is hard work and that he may be tired.  However, when he is off during the off season (fall- winter) my husband will sit in front of the Xbox all day until right before i come home and TRY to complete everything half assed before i get there. I am a type 1 diabetic so my timing of meals is planned out to a tea and it is very important to make sure that i eat by a certain time to avoid low blood sugars and their nasty side effects and yet my husband still procrastinates until the last min to start anything so that we are now eating a meal as late as 7 or 8 in the evening.  this has gotten so bad that i am now cooking most of the meals on Sunday so that the only thing that is required of him is to put it in the oven and still this is asking to much.  I am at my wits end with the situation.  I work very hard during the week and feel like i get no appreciation for what i do as he had stated that my job is not as hard as his as it is not physical work.  Any time that i ask him to do something when he is home during the week it is a fight or argument because all i do is nag him and then he will freak out and start saying nasty things to me to make himself feel better.  I am at my wits end... i feel like i deserve more respect, kindness and care as i would never do the things that he says and does to me and then just shrugs it off because his justification is i am mad so i can say and do whatever i want.  I have read alot of post on here about not engaging when things escalate which has helped alot.... does anyone have any other suggestions i am just tired of the fights and the extra unneeded stress! 

I'm creating this topic in case anyone would care to join me in venting about it, as April 15 gets very close.

My ADHD and Marriage and Income Taxes story is not as painful as many people's, I know.  But it's painful enough for me.

I started doing my family's tax returns approximately three or four years ago.  I can't remember exactly why, but it had something to do with my husband not being at home very much (once he started working as a caregiver for his parents) and with his suggestion that we not report his income from caregiving, a suggestion that I quickly rejected.  My husband's father (FIL) insists on paying him in cash, for not entirely clear reasons but probably involving FIL thinking that by doing so he is successfully hiding this arrangement from the government.  If you are guessing that this means that FIL does not pay any of the employer's share of taxes (Social Security, Medicare/Medicaid) and does not do any withholding, you are correct!  Hey, and guess what that means:  that my husband, who does not pay estimated taxes, owed more than $5,000 this year in income and self-employment taxes.  Another big cheer!  If you also are guessing that the accuracy of reporting the income of someone paid in cash is questionable, you are also correct.  I report what my husband deposits into our joint account, but because he never makes ATM withdrawals and I assume that he does carry around some cash, I also assume that I'm underreporting his income.  With tax return preparation, worse than the feeling I have about the number of dollars owed is the feeling I have about the fundamental dishonesty and cheating attitude of my FIL and my husband.  It almost makes me sick to think of how different they are from me and that they are willing to drag me into questionable legal territory.  

I finished this year's tax returns over the weekend and submitted them while I was home alone on Easter.   

Hello everyone! First and foremost I would like to express how extremely happy I am learning about this website. I have only read few topics (for now), and it already made me feel relieve. It makes me feel sane knowing that I am not alone in this "battle".

Although my husband has not been clinically diagnosed with ADHD, I strongly believe he has ADHD since childhood. He shows almost all the signs of ADHD. He is/was never happy with any of the jobs he has/had which results in constant job change/loss. The longest job he held that I know of is 2 years. Yes, 2 years ONLY! He gets bored and unhappy especially when he does not get the appreciation he knows he deserves to get. He never takes responsibilities for his actions. He always point finger. It is always the employers/company's fault. My husband has problem paying attention and focusing. He gets easily distracted. It takes him sometimes an hour to write an email to his colleagues. Most of the time is because he replies with complete elaboration that is not necessary/not being asked, to a simple 3 sentence-email sent to him. He is always late with meeting/conferences and when confronted he will make all the excuses or try to blame someone to get out of it. He is always late on almost everything.  All my husband does is sit in front of the computer, reading about things that he knows he needs to be up-to-date. He always say he is busy and never have time for anything. He does not cook (at all!), he does not do any house chores. He does not take our kids to school or attend any school events. When his is home, sitting in front of the computer, he will call for me(out loud) and ask for food. Living like a king! My husband thinks he knows everything. As a matter of fact he "knows" he know everything. Being married to an Asian wife who came from a third world country makes him think he can tell me anything and accept it as it is without any doubt, without any question. I used to do that until I learned that not everything he says is right. I was naive and ignorant but I am not stupid. When I learned to question he gets very upset. He will say " why dont you believe me, you know I am always right." " I have done several years of research and you don't believe me?" Seriously irritating! When he does or say something and at the end of the day he will be proven wrong, he will ultimately deny it. He never accepts that anything is ever his fault. My husband thinks he will live forever. He "knows" he can reverse diseases or has cure for it. He will tell me things like "depopulation" That the elites wants to rule the world and eliminated others by all means. There are a lot more of his conspiracy theories that drives me NUTS and wants me to believe everything about it. He thinks he can outsmart the government. An example of this is by not giving the right amount of money to be deducted for tax. He wants to keep more of his paycheck, save the money and pay whatever is owed at the end of the year. The problem with this is that NO MONEY IS BEING SAVED. So we ends up paying the IRS at the end of the year. While this keeps on happening to us, my husband never learned or refuses to learn. I also think he has superiority complex. He always put down people and think he is always better, ALWAYS!

Now my husband does not have a job. He quit early this year because he thinks he does not get the respect he deserves, he is not being appreciated but instead being put down. Now we will be moving out of state to live in his mom. We broke our lease, little money left on our savings account. Before I married my husband his life was already disorganized. I thought he has changed but I guess he will never change. I will have to live our life( my kids and I) under my management. I see no future with husband. He once admitted he does not know what to do as a career, he does not have a long-term goal. It scared the freak out of me and proves to me that I am sure there will be no stability in our life if I continue to count of him. Sigghhh..... Writing this gives me a sense of relief. I am happy! I am looking forward on reading more topics here =)

I realize this site is focused on ADHD; however, my husband is not diagnosed as such that I know of.  We've been married almost 30 years.  The first 5 were horrible; he drank til he passed out all the time.  He got sober in 1991.  Fell off the wagon in 2006 til 2009 and has been sober since then.  He was a mean drunk.  He's mean when he's sober too and selfish.  We both have strong personalities, so I don't let him bully me.  Everything I say, or do, he opposes.  Every issue becomes and argument no matter how irrelevant.....He likes to dispute, debate, discount everything I say.   I have moved out many times; for a week to 6 months.  Most recently I left for 3 months.  I came back on April 1st.  Today is the 7th....and I'm ready to slit my wrists....(figuratively, not literally).  I drafted a 5 page list of demands which I made him sign before I agreed to come back.  He signed it........and now 7 days later he's back to his same old ways.  I have anxiety, he makes it 100 times worse.  I see a psychiatrist, she was actually excited when I told her that I left him; not so much when I told her I went back. 

He has an explosive temper, says I don't listen, I don't "get it", I don't know what I'm talking about he insults me then walks away before I can respond and then slams the door on the way out.........He's been like this since I met him.  It was more tolerable when I was in my 30s when we met and married.  I'm 65......and I can barely tolerate him.  I keep a large emotional distance.  He used to make me cry....not anymore.  I have learned to shut him out completely, to the point of not even hearing him.....I give a noncommittal head nod and have no idea what he said.    I should probably admit that I did attempt suicide by Smith & Wesson (he no longer has a gun).  I was hospitalized for 5 days.  This was in 2012.  I can't say for sure if it was my anxiety/depression or if it was HIM......All I know is I wanted to go away permanently and the gun that sat at the head of his side of the bed was the best route at the time.  I put a hole in the bedroom floor and the bullet existed the wall outside on the lower deck.  No one was hurt.  The police came and hand cuffed me and took me to the hospital.....that hurt!

He is scheduled for a liver scan.....(too many years of Marine Corp., hard drinking; and a case of Hep. C).....palpitating his liver, his primary says his liver feels hard in some places.  I should feel something, since this could be very serious...you can't live without a functioning liver;  but I feel oddly nothing at all, actually I secretly hope his time limited......(jeeze, reading this back, I sound like a horrible person)  Sidebar:  He has a brother who has a gambling addiction, loses all the time and is an untreated schizophrenic or schizoid personality.....his father was an alcoholic, he died of liver cancer.  His mother was addicted to amphetamines, she died of breast cancer at age 44.  Maybe my husband is a product of bad genes. 

I'm walking on egg shells; I don't engage him in conversations, I simply agree, whatever you want, whatever you say.....it's exhausting.  Any suggestions? (besides leaving for good?  I can't afford to live on my own.  All I have is Social Security......that's well below poverty level.)